The truth of Fire Emblem Fates

The truth behind fire emblem fates is actually quite obvious if you have less than 12 brain cells. The Nohr are a bunch of weird friggin cosplayers who attacked a random family who had to get armor and weapons for defense. When Corrin was young, they kidnapped him and made him unknowingly participate, him thinking he actually was in medival times. The Hoshidans had technology such as Televisions, computers etc. The Nohr got rid of all that stuff when they stole Corrin so that they could spend more time with him. They often would give Corrin warm milk so that he'd fall asleep for hours on end, why?.....

You see, the Nohrians are actually Mcdonald's employees, they wear armor to protect themselves from the grease. Except Elise, she works at Wendy's by herself with 15 clones of herself. They fed him warm milk so that they could sneak off to their job. They wanted to hide the truth from him at all costs.

As for the characters themselves, Ryoma is obviously the best character, end of disscussion. His real name was Rowan before the roleplayers took over. Hinoka is actually a lesbian named Charlie. Sakura has a secret that is awesome, she is actually a lamia but prefers a diet of salads from mcdonald's and her real name is Monika. Takumi is Takumi, end of story. Xander is actually a phsyician who died early on in Corrin's life but he refuses to accept it and still sees him. Camilla is a mechanic who has an obsession with gold and because of that holds a golden wrench in TF2. Leo is non-existant to being honest and Elise is the world's greatest TF2 player.

You may be wondering why I'm making this, but there's a moral.

Don't choose Conquest.

Unless you wanna play TF2 with weird girls, if so, have at it!