Death by Shit

I had a huge dinner as Freddy's: pizza with baked beans used in replacement for meat and super-mega spicy hot sauce on top. It's been about 3 hours since I ate and my stomach doesn't seem to agree with me. I can feel my colon twist and turn as I desperately try to keep my ass cheeks shut.

I carefully ran- ass in hand- to the nearest public male facility. I screamed for everyone to evacuate the room, "I gotta take a gigantic diarrhea dump, people," but they all took their time. All 3 stalls and urinals were in use, so I checked the ladies room and screamed at them but to no avail.

After waiting in agony for 20 minutes I finally had a chance to use the toilet, but some big fat jerk push me out of the way. I fell and felt some liquid leak out of my butt. "You god damn motherfucker, it was MY turn!" He didn't hear me and went to go do his business.

Another 10 minutes passed before I was allowed to use a stall. I quickly unzipped my pants and plopped my ass down onto the toilet seat. Immediately, I unleashed a spew of volcanic rocks- well, more like lava to be honest. It shot out like a machine gun, nearly 1,000,000 miles per second or something. It burnt my rectum to the point where I had third degree burns on my buns. I smelt the thick aroma of my own deification with a shit-eating grin. Although the others disagreed.

"Jesus, what the fuck is that? It sounds like this guy's ass is like a rocket's propulsion system!" Oh, funny.

"Ohhh, nasty shit!" Please, your shit stank way worse then this.

"Fuck man, can't 'cha go home 'n do dat shit? 'Chu waz sittin' here fo like 'n owah, u couldah got yo ass home!" I couldn't move, cuck.

The comments mad by these stupid bystanders was pissing me off. All of the sudden, my ass ramped up the power and the shooting diarrhea launched me up like a water fountain. I sat bobbing up and down up there laughing my ass off. My explosion was just too much for the toilet. Where areas it was just overflowing the stall, now it destroyed it and my shit was filling the room.

Like a tidal wave, the walls of shit trampled the citizens- who were frantically trying to escape. They slowly drowned in my feces. My ass once again turned up the dial and I shot out of the building just in time to not drown. I could feel my ass rip itself apart. I kept shooting up, now almost to space. Below, I could see that the building exploded from the shit and began filling the whole world.

I made it into space, and I didn't even have an ass anymore. My whole lower half had been shredded off. I was going so fast my face started to peel off. Soon, only my head remained and my severed neck was spurting out the brown lava. I made it to the sun. I looked back on last time at me home, but it was nowhere to be seen. Behind me the whole entirety universe was consumed by diarrhea.

Finally, due to the baking of my decapitated cranium, it was easily torn apart by the stream of constant shit.

Here in Hell (that's where we all go, regardless) I am still shitting. It is now filling up Hell and Satan was so mad. He drowned in the ocean that is my shit.

Never eating at Freddy's again, that's for sure!