Super Mario Brothers 666 Rom Hack Edition 69

One day while I was playing my brand new PS4 I felt the urge to go and try to find games for my N64 because nostalgia lolol. I decided to go down to the local Gamestop and try to find a copy of Super Mario Bros because that was my favorite game to play when it first came out in 1849. So I threw my PS4 controller out the window of my apartment which was on the 23rd floor and jumped out after it. I landed on the roof of my car, rolled off, and then got into my car and drove to Gamestop.

So I got to Gamestop and smashed my car through the window. I was ejected out of the seat and I barrel rolled right into the N64 section. Among all the N64 games scattered about on the floor, I found one that really stood out compared to the others. There was duct tape on the game and somebody wrote in black sharpie "Super Mario Brothers 666 Rom Hack Edition 69". Wow I couldn't believe that I had my hands on this super ultra rare game that looked like it was 100% legit! I walked over to the counter and gave it to the cashier, his name was Hank. Hank told me that today was Free Day so I could just take the game. But before I left, he gave me a balloon. Wow, what a nice guy Hank was. So anyways, I barrel rolled right back into the driver's seat of my car and sped away, hitting 5 cars on the way out of the parking lot.

I arrived back at my apartment and kicked down the door. I ran over to my N64 and smashed the game into it. Now, this N64 was probably the best thing I've ever purchased. Besides this one time a bought a Maple Leaf Ham. God that was probably the best fucking ham I've ever had in my life. Shit, I'm getting off track again. So anyways, the game booted up and I was brought to a sooper legit looking title screen. At the top it said the same thing that was on the duct tape. But instead, the backdrop was colored... A BLOOD RED. Now that certainly sp00ked me, but I decided to carry on thinking that it was just a mere glitch. I started up the game and I was dropped into the normal looking Mario world. But one thing that was super odd was that I was playing as MARFIO not Mario!!?! Wow that really sp00ked me as well. But it was probably just a glitch so I carried on. Suddenly I came across a pack of Goombas, so MARFIO pulled out a shotgun and I killed 69 of them in rapid succesion. But then a worried look came onto MARFIO's face and then he shot himself in the face with a nerf gun and he died.

The screen cut to black and then a very distorted version of "Allstar" by Smash Mouth started emitting from the speakers. Then it showed a picture of Mario's face and he had HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD POURING OUT OF HIS EYES!! I was so sp00ked that I shit myself. So after a change of pants I went back to the game and it said in BLOOD RED COMIC SANS under the picture of Mario "Your Spaghetti Is Mine". I was super sp00ked. Did Hank from Gamestop do this? Nah, probably not. So I was gonna take out the cartridge and destroy it like any other normal person would do.. when I noticed that the words on the duct tape were gone and were replaced by a picture of Hank's face with the words "I'm King Of The Hill Bitch" underneath it.

I still wasn't sure if Hank had done it so I had an idea that would prove my theory. I dived out the window I broke previously and landed on top of my car again. I took out a butcher knife and I stabbed the balloon. "Just as I suspected" I said while sniffing the air "Propane..." then everything blew up. The End. Directed by Micheal Bay