Suicideschnauzer.swf

Second Installment to The Evil Schnauzer Saga.

Suicideschnauzer.swf is a lost episode trollpasta and is widely seen as just another one of those lost episode trollpasta you would see here on the wiki. This story is based off of an old, unseen flash animation about The Evil Schnauzer. There is also a video game that is based off The Evil Schnauzer.

The Trollpasta
So do any of you remember those flash animations from the 2000s? The ones that you remember a few years ago? Well, I hear there is one that was unreleased to even the most avid classic Newgrounds fans.

According to sources, it's nothing special. It's just a continuous loop (like Flintstones) of a Schnauzer walking past six buildings that goes on for two or three minutes before fading out. Unlike the funny tunes put in though, the song on this flash animation was not a song at all, just a constant banging on a piano for a minute and a half before going to white noise for the remainder of the animation.

It wasn't a jolly old Schnauzer we've come to love either, the dog wasn't doing typical shenanigans you would see on Newgrounds animations, not even smiling, just kind of walking as if you or I were talking a dog on a walk, with a normal facial expression, but for some reason it's head tilted side to side as he kept this dismal look.

Up until a year or two ago, everyone believed that after it cut to black and that was it. When Tom Fulp was reviewing the cartoon to see whether it should be put in P-Bot's Daily Picks, he decided it was too shitty to be on Newgrounds, so he blammed it anyways, but wanted to have a digital copy due to the fact that it was a creation of another unknown user. When he had a digitized version up on his computer to look at the file, he noticed something.

The flash animation was actually 9 minutes and 4 seconds long. This is what my source emailed to me, in full (he is one of the admins at newgrounds, and acquaintance of Tom Fulp himself):

"After it cut to black, it stayed like that until the 6th minute, before going back into the Schnauzer walking. The sound was different this time. It was a murmur. It wasn't a language, but more like a gurgled cry. As the noise got more indistinguishable and loud over the next minute, the picture began to get weird. The sidewalk started to go in directions that seemed impossible based on the physics of the Schnauzer's walking. And the dismal face of the Schnauzer was slowly curling into a smirk.

On the 7th minute, the murmur turned into a bloodcurdling scream (the kind of scream painful to hear) and the picture was getting more obscure. Colors were happening that shouldn't have been possible at the time. The Schnauzer's smirk began to turn into a wide grin, the colors began to change in a more reddish hue. Fulp realized that this was no ordinary Schnauzer, but it was The Evil Schnauzer, and his wide grin was getting even more wide.

The buildings became rubble floating in midair and the sidewalk was still impossibly navigating in warped directions, a few seeming inconceivable with what we, as humans, know about direction. Mr. Fulp got disturbed and left the room, sending an roommate of his to finish the video and take notes of everything happening up until the last second, and afterward immediately stored the .swf of the flash animation into a hard drive. This distorted screaming lasted until 8 minutes and a few seconds in, and then it abruptly cuts to The Evil Schnauzer's face at the credits of the end of every video with what sounded like a broken music box playing in the background.

This happened for about 30 seconds, and whatever was in that remaining 30 seconds I haven't been able to get a sliver of information about. From a roommate working under me who was making rounds outside of that room, I was told that after the last frame, the roommate stumbled out of the room with pale skin saying "Fuck this shit, I'm out!" in a madman's voice before speedily taking the roommate's pistol and offing himself on the spot.

The thing I could get out of Tom Fulp was that the last frame was a picture of a demonic, snarling black lab with a piece of english text that said "You have been cursed by evil dogger. You can only break the curse by commenting: Go away evil dogger.". As far as I know, no one else has seen it, but there have been dozens of attempts at getting the file on rapidshare by admins from Newgrounds, all of whom have been promptly terminated of their roles.

Whether it got online or not is up for debate, but if rumors serve me right, it's online somewhere under "suicideschnauzer.swf". If you ever find a copy of the animation, I want you to never view it, and to contact me by phone immediately, regardless of the time. When a Newgrounds Death is covered up as well as this, it means this has to be something huge.

Get back at me,

Anon"

I've yet to find a copy of this, but it is out there. I know it.