Trollpasta Compilation Vol. 4

THE SCARY FLASH DRIVE
OK ONE TIME I WAS EATING CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP BECAUSE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP IS THE SHIT, WHEN OUT OF NOWHERE, A FLASHDRIVE FELL IN MY SOUP AND I CRIED BECAUSE IT WAS SCARY. I WENT UP STAIRS AND I LOGGED ON AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE THING ON THE COMPUTER CALLED EVILSATAN.PNG.JPG.WMV.MP3.EXE.COM. I CLICKED IT AND VIDEOS OF MURDERS AND DEATHS AND HOW THEY MAKE FOOD IN MCDONALDS AND I WAS SO SCARED BUT THEN I REMEMBERED THAT I DIDN'T PUT THE FLASHDRIVE IN AND THIS WAS JUST MY STUFF. I PUT IT IN AND THERE WAS THIS VIDEO AND IT WAS ALL STATIC BUT I AM A HACKER SO PUT IT IN MSPAINT AND THAT FIXED IT. THE VIDEO WAS OF A CARDIO WORKOUT AND IT WAS SCARY BECAUSE THE MAN WAS YELLING! HE SAID STUFF LIKE &quot;PUMP YOUR LEGS!&quot; AND &quot;WE'RE GONNA DO JUMPING JACKS FOR 15 SECONDS&quot; AND HE ONLY GAVE 5 SECOND WATER BREAKS. I CALLED THE COPS AND THEY COULDN'T FIND HIM BUT EVERY NIGHT WHEN I'M IN BED I SEE HIM IN MY ROOM AND HE JUST D'S CARDIO WORKOUTS ON MY BED AND SOMETIMES HE STEPS ON MY LEG AND IT HURTS.

MY TOTALLY RIGHT SPONGEBOB THEORY
YOU KNOW THAT SHOW SPONGEBOB? IT'S REALLY ABOUT SOME BULLSHIT THAT IT COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE ABOUT BECAUSE IT'S A CARTOON ABOUT A TALKING SPONGE. YOU KNOW HOW SPONGEBOB IS A SPONGE? TO WASH DISHES, PEOPLE USE SPONGES AND IT PICKS UP ALL THE DIRT (I eat dirt). THAT MEANS SPONGEBOB IS JESUS BECAUSE JESUS WAS USED TO WASH DISHES WHEN SPONGES WERE KNOWN AS NAZI TECHNOLOGY. YOU KNOW HOW SQUIDWARD IS GRUMPY? HE IS OBVIOUS A VET OF THE VIETNAM WAR BECAUSE HE HATES YELLOW PEOPLE LIKE SPONGEBOB. SANDY REPRESENTS THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS BECAUSE WOMEN, AMIRITE? ALSO MR. KRABS IS SATAN BECAUSE HE'S RED. IN COCKLUSION, THIS SHOW IS DEMONIC.

FURBEARINGBRICK'S NOTE: The author STILL insists Grimsley isn't a Mary Sue because he has a tragic past! Tragic pasts count as a flaw, right? Heh heh heh heh, WRONG.

By the way, his &quot;tragic past&quot; appears to be nothing more than a persecution complex. Wah wah waaaaaah. [[Category:ALL

[[Category:POINTLESS

Boogie People
Okay, so I was in this mall minding my own buisness when suddenly I noticed nobody else was there. Then I heard voices singing Boogie Fever only it said Boobie People instead. It got louder and louder until I could hear a voice say &quot;Run! The Boogie People are coming for you&quot; Before I could ask who said that, suddenly a bunch of 70s disco people flew out of the window and they came after me! then there was so many boogied peepole that the mall explodei and everyone died!

ahsosahdlasjdhasousdhKeihaofushsadlsadhoaSashdolSUADHSADLhasouhsAouaSHousa

BOOGIE PEOPLE....

GOT TO BOOGIE DOWN....

BOOGIE PEOPLE....

I THINK THEY'RE COMING FOR YOUR SOUL MUAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHSHITTYFUCKDIARHEADUMPFUCK

BLOOD.EXE
So this one time i found a game called blood and when i opened it there was blood on the disk. I didn't think to much of it and put it into my bloody computer. the was one bloody file called blood.exe. I opened it and the main menu was covered in blood. I then played the bloody game but only had one ability blood which made me bleed in real life with a blood doll.

Stop over using blood it's not creepy if done wrong

GAMN HAUNTED 2
I HAVE COME TO WARN YOU GAMN YOU CAN STOP GAMN YOU JUST RESEND RETWEET REBLOG RESHARE THUMBS UP AND COPY PASTE AND GAMN WILL NOT GET U. P.S. LEGIT

Chat of d00m
Have you ever wonder what happen to those people who supposedly &quot;died&quot; on the chat and why Cleric is always away? Well I'm here to tell you this secret that I just found it out moments ago:

When someone 'died' in the chat like for example, committing suicide and whatnot, they really do. Now, when they die their username and their account send signals to the founder of this wiki, which we fondly called Cleric (who apparently always away on the chat but we'll get to that part later). You might now wonder on what's the connection with Cleric's away on the chat to the topic we have here? Well so far as I'm concerned, according to my resources, he collects them in an unsual way. Don't know how he d's it but I really don't want find it out sooner. After he recieves those signals from the demised user, Cleric collects the body and cremates it on his special furnace. After reducing the hapless corpse to ashes, he puts them in a special cremation urn and he displayed it on his secret room. The urns have this special code engraved on their bottom side and only Cleric knows what they mean and also don't even try to steal them if you ever managed  to get inside of his house (and more importantly the location of his whereabouts) because he'll know which urn is missing. Now about those urns, they were unique from one another so that Cleric can tell which user died by this and how the user died by that.

You might wondering why I told you that never steal those urns? It's because he'll know which one of the urns gone missing and will hunt you down until he got the cremation urn back. He might also be added you into one of his collection if you weren't so lucky to escape from his clutches. As of now there are numerous cremation urns, including souvenirs from the unfortunate victims and users alike, are now part of his unsual collection. His exact motives on why did he do this were still unknown to this day. I'm still working on it though.

Ultimate Ritual
Go to the nearest fruit-bearing tree on the northeast side of any suburban town within twenty-eight miles of the Gulf of Mexico. If the town you have chosen has no fruit-bearing trees on its northeast side, GO TO ANOTHER TOWN YOU FUCKS. Anyway, once you have located the nearest fruit-bearing tree, you must stare at it for five to six seconds. You must then turn your head sharply to the left. After holding this position for exactly 2.013795 seconds, you must turn your head--slowly--back to its original position. After you are facing the tree once again, look at the ground below you. Contemplate it. CONTEMPLATE IT.

After about twenty minutes of this, turn around. Take off all your clothes. If you are not immediately arrested, begin patting your head and rubbing your belly simultaneously. Do this until you hear the sound of police sirens, whereupon you must get the hell out of there. When (*cough*if*cough*) you manage to get away, beat the shit out of the nearest passerby and steal his or her clothes.

You must then stare directly at the sun. Stare at it. STARE AT IT.

After ten minutes of this, hail the nearest taxi. Make sure to not get in the taxi, but in the car directly behind it. If the car directly behind it is also a taxi, BLOW IT UP AND START ALL OVER AGAIN. If it isn't, though, you must throw the driver out of the car and drive off while laughing maniacally. If you did all these steps correctly, you should be teleported back to the fruit-bearing tree with your vision fully intact (you should have gone blind from staring at the sun, if that wasn't readily apparent). You will also be a wearing a bear suit for no discernible reason.

At this point, you will see a button on the tree that was not there before. You must press it, but not immediately. You must first wait exactly 56.73895001306328954322001 seconds before pressing it. Once you press it, you will hear heavy metal music blasting out of a hidden amp in the bushes. You must proceed to headbang along to the music (even though you're in a bear suit and you can barely move) until it stops.

You must then pick one of the fruits from the tree. Take a bite. Now stare at the fruit. STARE AT IT. Now throw it at the nearest house in the vicinity. If it crashes through one of the windows of that house, you will instantly be teleported back to your computer, reading this, with no recollection of ever having done any of this.

The real awesome true best pasta legit
HEre is the best pasta, legit pasta.

What happened was that i took some spagetti and threw it in a boiling pot if water, then get some meat, roll it up into a ball, then cook it so meatballs can be put on it. When pasta is fully cooked, i then put some sauce on it (marinara of course) and some meatballs that i cooked earlier, Then let the skeleton pop out and invite him for pasta,

The Man
One day a man was walking down the road and a boy said to him &quot;hello&quot;, and the man didnt say anything back, the boy didnt understand why the man didnt reply, so he went home and stabbed himself in the heart. now, people never walk down that road anymore just incase they see the man.

DeathMan
One day there was a spooky video game that I found at the garage sale and it was pokemon. I turned on the pokemon and at first it was static and made funny noise like BZZT BZZT BZZT. I thought whatever, everyone knows that garage sale games make this noise because they are old and broken and this is what old broken games do. I turned on the game and there was 4 pokemons! Charizard, squirturtle and bulbasuar and one other one! I picked the one other starter pokemon and its name was DEATHMAN. It looked like a regular bulbamasuar only instead of leaves it had skulls! I thought that this was freaky but I thought whatever this only a gaem, right! So I picked deathman and its cry was like a charizard cry only instead of the regluar cry it said &quot;I AM EAT YOU&quot;. This made me really scared of the gaem so then I went to the pokemark and said to the shop man. BUY POKEBALLS. But instead it gave me skulls. This was scary so then I went to the end of the game and got other kinds of pokemon and the game was normal except Gray Oak didn't appear and instead there was ANOTHER skull. I beat the game but instead of it ending normally it went to another level. This was a scary level and the music from the ghost town played because that is scary music. A man popped up and said you killed so many pokemons! You should feel guilty but I said lol ur a game and shut it off. I went to bed but in it I had dream about deathman and he shot skulls at me and the music from ghostland played over and over and all the pokemons i killed in the gam came and said &quot;OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU ARE BAD FOR KILLING POKEMON&quot; then I woke up but DEATHMAN WAS STILL THERE!

The Boss
ONCE UPON A TIME I WAS WORKING AT WORK AND DOING MY JOB AND THEN MY BOSS SAID WE NEEDED TO TALK IN HIS OFFICE. I SAID &quot;OK SURE YES&quot; AND HE SAID &quot;OK BILL YOU'RE FIRED UNLESS YOU DO SOMETHING FOR ME&quot; AND I SAID TO HIM &quot;OK SURE YES&quot; AGAIN BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO BE FIRED BECAUSE THEN I WILL HAVE NO MONEY!!! THEN HE TOLD ME HOW HE WAS SATAN AND ALSO THE DEVIL AND HE TOLD ME HE WANTED TO CHEW MY SOUL BECAUSE I AM NOT EFFICIENT ENOUGH AT MY JOB! I SAID &quot;PLEASE NO&quot; BUT HE DID IT ANYWAYS AND THEN I DIED SO NOW I AM DEAD AND ALSO I HAD BLEED TO DEATH!! THIS IS A TRUE STORY. I KNOW BECAUSE I AM YOU!!!!

CREEPEE LITTL BPOI
WON DAE I WURKD AT NIKLODONGT STUDOS ND DER WUZ A LITTEL BPOI AAT DA DOR ND HE WUZ PLAYIN POKMON 666 BLUDDY REDD AND DEN HE DIEDDED AND DEN HE HAD HYPERREELISATIK EIES AND HE TRND ITNO A SKETLON AND SPYDERZ POPPED OUT OF HIZ CHEST AND I WEN HOME AND GOT A PACKIGE IN MAIL THAT HAD A DICK WICT THE WORDZ DED Bpoi wriTTEN ON IT AND DEN I PUTFG IT OMM Y COMPUTER ANDF DEN I HAD TO TAKE P'P AND DEN IN DA MIRRUR DERE WUZ WURDS RITTIN WIT BLOOD DAT SED UR TOO SLO AND DEN I SAW DA BPOI FRUM RLIER AND DEN HE WUZ BLAK AND WITE AND HIZ EIES WERE REDF BUT DEN JEFF DA KILUR AND SUM SKETLONZ OPPPED OUT

Doll House
Once upon a time there lived a girl and her mother in a house and in that house roamed a thousand dead bodies in their basement. One day the daughter said, ''I'll go in the basement to get my doll' (because it was in there with a girl ghost), but only the mother knew about the ghost because she was the one that killed them! BOO!!!!!!!''