Thread:NedWolfkin/@comment-43602477-20190824034157/@comment-43602477-20190824045554

Alright,here’s the final product.

Hello,my name is Guy Mann. I have worked at Jon’s Pizza Place for nearly 3 years,and I am here to share my most terrifying experience yet. It was around 5 in the evening and I was serving pizza to customers when a woman walked up to the counter. As I was busy serving a family of kids,I couldn’t serve the woman just yet. She seemed to look irritated. Finally,as I walked over,I heard her faintly mutter something under her breath. I was unsure what it was,but I think she said something about millennials. I smiled,embarrassed,and apologised for keeping her waiting. “Ugh,it’s fine.” She replied,though she seemed to show she was indeed not fine with it. “Could I get a medium pepperoni,with lactose-free cheese and vegan pepperoni?” She asked. “U-um,I’m sorry ma’am,but we don’t have lactose-free cheese and vegan pepperoni.” I said,smiling. “Excuse me? Ugh. Don’t you realise my son is lactose intolerant? My family is very pro-health,and the vegan diet is really the best option” she said huffily. “I’m sorry,ma’am,but we don’t have vegan or lactose-free pizza. Perhaps you could order something else?” I said,slightly embarrassed. “Ugh! Fine. I’ll get a vegetarian pizza. And make it quick,my son Aaron is waiting in the car,and he has soccer practice at 6:30. I’ll be the laughingstock of the other members of the PTA if we show up late!” The woman exclaimed. “Alright ma’am,um,we’ll do the best we can!” I said,smiling nervously. After about 15 minutes,the pizza was ready,and by the time my coworkers had boxed it and it was ready to be served,the woman looked enraged. “Absolute robbery of my money!” She cried as I handed it to her. “I hope you teens enjoyed your little party,wasting my time and making my precious baby Aaron go hungry and be late for soccer!” She shrieked. Other customers stared at me and her,and I was very embarrassed now. “I demand to talk to your manager!” She hissed. “Ma’am,we ca-“ “Did I stutter?”. This woman was very pissed. “I’ll have you know,” the woman said in a low,threatening tone “That I am one of the head parents at the school PTA. I can make you lose your job! I can make this place get shut down! Absolute robbery!”. “Ma’am,you haven’t even paid yet.” “I don’t need to!” She said. “Looking at this pizza,” she continued,opening the box “Guh! Is that..Disgusting! Grease? My child can get POISONED from this garbage! I am absolutely going to post all about this nonsense on my Facebook page,then try getting customers,you disgusting agency!” She shrieked. “Ma’am,we are a chain company.” I said,now beginning to lose my patience. “Oh really? Then BRING THE MANAGER!” The woman roared. By now,a long line of impatient and hungry customers and formed behind her. “Ma’am” I said,inhaling irritably. “The manager cannot see you right now. Please,for God’s sake,give us the pizza and we can refund you and you can go to a different place.” I begged. “Give you back the pizza? Ha ha ha,I was going to eat it anyway! I just want my money back!” She said in a mocking tone. I facepalmed. “Ma’am,that’s not how we work here.” I said. She scoffed. “Ugh. Fine! I am leaving a ⅕ star rating on Yelp,and telling all the PTA members about this disgusting,outrageous service!” And she quickly stormed out. She didn’t even god damn pay. Well,that’s not the end. The past week,I’ve been seeing an increase of middle aged women with bad hair styles near my house. Watching me. I’ve started fearing for my safety. W-what? Oh god. They’re trying to get in. Mom,dad,if you’re reading this,I love you. O-oh g

And then I’ll add some random minion meme that a Karen would put on her Facebook.