How 2 "Creepypasta" 101 Epic Tutorial

Hello fat guy.

Today on this lovely day (to order McDonalds) I am going to teach you the basics of making a crappypa- Uhh... did I say that? I meant Creepypasta. Anyway, just follow this totally non-cliché tutorial!

Ok. The first step to making a very famous creepypasta is to use ideas people have used. Sure you plagiarised, but it's key to being famous! Now, choose a template. Lost episodes/Gaming pastas are basically the same, so I'll give you the same basic checklist. Woah, finished already? Yeah you are! Obviously. Whoops, silly me! How could I forget? Add stock sound effect screams! Yeah, that scared me.
 * 1) Seller online says it's haunted but dumb character buys it anyway. This is essential.
 * 2) Make it really normal so they don't suspect anything. Then add a scary image.
 * 3) Add every single scary thing from video games as much as you can! Like the Gigyas theme, Earthbound's winter cave thingy, and lastly, ear-deafing sounds! (Ugh, my ears hurt.)
 * 4) Make the character very "scary"! Give them blood everywhere!
 * 5) Make sure he/she is a killer. Wouldn't want no gore to be added!
 * 6) This is additional, but add suicide.
 * 7) Put scary images to frighten the toddler!

And you're done! Congrats! You've scared the shit out of toddlers and are probably crying for their mom now! Thank you for going on this journey. This has been How 2 "Creepypasta" 101 Epic Tutorial.