PATRIXXX

Prologue
THIZ IZ HOW PATRIXX BEECAYM KYNG OV TEH TROLLS

PATRIXXX VZ PIE
PATRIXXX VZ PIE PIE UZED NUKE BUT PATRIXXX TOOK NO NONO DAMAGEZ CUZ YOLO PATRIXXX UZED ZONIK KIK IZUPPA UHVEKTIV PIE LOZT PATRIXXX GOT 43951041368431741=830421`=47382`-57814- EXPERRIUNZEZ!!!!!!

PATRIXXX GOEZ TU BWEKVAZT
PATRIXXX WOKE UP ONE MORNIN AND ZAID ZUMG UM HUNGEEZ ZU HE WENZ TU BWEKVAST UNLY TUU VIND A VLY IN HIZ BANKAKEZ ZUU HE ATE IT CUZ YOLO UHGAIN LOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLLLOOLL!!

PATRIXXX MEEZ DA MAN WIT NO PHACE
PATRIXXX WAZ TROLOLOLIN WUN DAY TUL L HE MET DA MAN WIT NO PHACE AND WUZ LIKE WZUP DEN MAN DUDE PAGAVEWFEFWSAWAEFWA WAZ LIEK NUTIMMUCHYO I WANA EAT PIE ZU PATRIXXX AND OTTER DUDE DID IT!!

PATRIXXX'S PASTA
"HALLO ZIZ IZ PATRIXXX ND DIZ MA PASTA SU ONCE I WUZ HEETTING WEDDUY VO PWN N00BZ UNTILL A MAJESTIK PONEEH WI T WINGZ ZAID COME WIDE WIT ME DEN I ZAID OKEEE DEN WE WENT OFF DEN I NOTISSED DAT DA PONEEH WUZ UN EPIK REDRUM DRUM MONSTER WIT EPIK ALAZOTRZ SO I KILLED IT BY LIKING IZ LEG KUZ I M DAT DEEDLY. DA END TANKS BAI Q_Q"

PATRIXXX EATZ PIE R ZUMTING
AVTER PATRIXXX KILLDED PIE U WEMEHBARZ PIE RITE U BETTA CUZ DEN PATRIXXX ATE IT.

PATRIXXX MEETZ MAN WIT BAG OVA FACE OR SUMTHING
PATRIXXX MET A MAN WIT A BAG OVER HIS FACE

PATRIXX MEETZ ZKWIDWOOS VROM ZKWIDWOODS ZOOIZIDE
PATRIXX WACHIZ ZKWIDWOOD COMMYT ZOOIZIDE

ALL HAYL PATRIXX
ZATZ HOW PATRIXX BEECAYM KYNG OV TEH TROLLZ