The Haunted Paperclip

It was a typical day, when I was drinking my chocolate milk while playing Superman 64 when I noticed something odd. The mailman came, but he looked sad and depressed. He placed a package in front of my doorstep, and immediately started running as fast as he could away from my house. I put down Superman 64, picked up my chocolate milk, and opened the door. I opened the package, only to find a paperclip, a note, a used condom, and a note. The note was hand-written, and it seems as though it was rushed. It said &quot;You have been cursed by the haunted paperclip. Sincerely, old man&quot;. It was then that I realized I had been cursed by the haunted paperclip. I was scared. But what should I do? I started freaking out, and I knew I had to act fast.

3:41pm
I looked up how to remove a curse online, and I found a YouTube comment that could help me out. It's common sense that YouTube comments are always true, so I am relieved I could find an answer. It says that to remove the curse, I must drink a bowl of pigeon soup. Luckily, my friend went to ninja camp, so he can get some dead pigeons without being noticed.

4:23pm
I hear him knock, so I am opening the door. He gives me the instructions on how to boil it, so I'm taking the pigeon to the kitchen right now.

5:16pm
The pigeon soup tastes disgusting, so I put some honey in it. Unfortunately, I swallowed the beak. It was stuck in my throat, and I had to find some way to get it out. I am PMing the YouTuber who gave me advice on how to get rid of the curse, and now I wait.

5:34pm
He finally messaged me back. He says that to remove the beak, I must eat applesauce for a week. This guy's a genius!

One week later
I got the beak out. Now I can go back to playing Superman 64! Yay, happy ending!