A Lengthy, Frightening Defecation

You may find credibility in the following anecdote, or you may not, but it is factual. On a particular day, I consumed an overly-abundant quantity of Gallus gallus domesticus from Kentucky Fried Chicken, and I got diarrhea, and I defecated enough to cover the flooring with feces, and I quickly proceeded to the toilet, which filled up, so I went to the other lavatory. Suddenly, the feces transformed from a liquid state to a solid state, and it proclaimed &quot;I had an internship at&quot; but before it could finish, I flushed it down, and Jeffrey the Assassin came out of my anus and assassinated me. I am undecided if I will ever view feces in the manner which I did before this happening ever again. A haunted video game cartridge was inside my Nintendo Dual Screen called &quot;Super Mario Fecesshine&quot;, and Mariobenjamin was possessing it, and he gained telepathic control of my colon. One hundred and twenty hours after the happening, I had completed the game, and I proceeded to the doctor. He removed a spirit of a deceased person from my gluteus maximus, and the Tails Doll came out, too. The doctor proclaimed that my anus was free of sunshine. Three hundred seconds after his proclamation, I expired due to gluteal cancer. Then, a human skeletal structure, which was the doctor's dummy, appeared.