MARIO SNES

SO I WAS WALKIN DOWN THE STREET EATING SOME FREAKING CHICKENMCNUGGETS WHEN SUDDENLY I SAW A HOUSE. "OMG IT IS A GHOST HOUSE!" I SAID. THE HOUSE HAD WINDOWS THAT WERE OPEN BUT I COULD SEE NOTHING INSIDE. I WAS COMPELLED TO GO IN.

WHEN I WALKED IN, THERE WAS A SCARY. "OH MY GOD A CHILLY AIR AND THE LIGHTS R OFF! I AM GONNA DIE. I AM SO GONNA DIE." I TURNED ON MY FLASHLIGHT WHICH I CONVENIENTLY HAD WITH ME BUT THE BATTERIES RAN OUT IN 2 SECONDS. "DAMMIT I JUST CHARGED THE DAMN FLASHLIGHT AND ITS DAMN BATTERIES ARE DAMN TRAITORS!!!!!!!

THEN I REALIZED IT WAS JUST MY HOUSE. "OOPS." I SAID.

THE NEXT DAY I WENT DOWNSTAIRS TO HAVE BREAKFAST AND MADE MYSELF A BOWL OF FROOT LOOPS. BUT FROSTED FLAKES CAME OUT INSTEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODDDDDD......" I FAINTED.

WHEN I CAME TO I REALIZED I HAD MISPLACED THE CEREAL BAGS. "DOUBLE OOPS." I SAID. I ATE MY CEREAL AND TOOK A DUMP. THEN I NOTICED THAT I HAD ACCIDENTALLY TAPED MY SNES TO THE CEILING. AND WHEN I SAW IT, NOSTALGIC MEMORIES OF MY CHILDHOOD CAME BACK TO ME. "I SHOULD BUY AN SNES GAME TO PLAY. I WILL REMEMBER MY NOSTALGIC PAST." I GOT IN MY CAR AND DROVE TO GAMESTOP. THE GUY SAID "WELCOME TO GAMESTOP. THIS SIDETHISLOCATION IS BEING MONITORED FOR YOUR SAFETY AND STUFF. THX FOR SHOPPING. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

I ASKED THE CLERK: "LISTEN DUDE. WHERE ARE THE SNES GAMES? ALL I SEE IS SOME DISPLAY THAT SAYS 'WEE'AND A DISPLAY THAT SAYS '3D ASS.'" HE SAID "SORRY SIR. WE DON'T SELL SNES GAMES HERE. YOU SHOULD HAVE COME HERE IN THE 90s. WE ARE JERKS NOW. HEY YOU WANNA PRE ORDER NEW SUPER MARIO BROS 18?! IT'S COMING OUT TOMORROW! (I'M BLUFFING)" "NO WAY YOU GUYS ARE JERKS I AM LEAVING!!!!!!!" I YELLED. "HARRUMPH-OOH A SNES GAMEEEE!" IT HAD NO LABEL AND HAD "MARIO SNES" WRITTEN ON IT WITH A MARKER. "I'LL TAKE IT!" I YELLED. "WAIT HOW DO WE HAVE THAT GAME?! NOBODY TRADED IT IN HERE! BUT YOU CAN HAVE IT FOR 20 BUCKS." SAID THE CLERK. I BOUGHT THE GAME AND LEFT. WHEN I GOT HOME I PUT IT IN AND THE FAMILIAR TITLE SCREEN SONG STARTED BUT IT WAS REALLY LOUD AND WITH ELECTRIC GUITARS AND GUIROS. AUUUUUURURURURURURGH I YELLED. BUT I PRESSED START ANYWAY CUZ YOLO.

THE FAMILIAR SCENE WITH YOSHI'S HOUSE WAS THERE AND I BEGAN TO CRY FROM NOSTALGIA. BUT I REALIZED IT WAS COVERED IN BLOOD. THE HINT BLOCK SAID "SCREW YOU MARIO I HATE YOU AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY. IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT THAT ME AND MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD. FROM YOSHI" THEN IT GLITCHED AND I WAS TRANSPORTED TO LEVEL 1.

MARIO WAS STANDING IN THE FIRST LEVEL, BUT I NOTICED THAT HE WAS COVERED IN HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD AND HIS EYES HAD NO PUPILS, AND THE FRUITS WERE GONE FROM THE BUSHES. ALSO, THE BUSHES WERE COVERED IN ULTRA REALISTIC BLOOD AND THERE WAS NO MUSIC. THE HINT BLOCK WAS GONE. I PRESSED SOME BUTTONS ON THE CONTROLLER, AND I NOTICED MARIO WAS MOVING MUCH SLOWER THAN USUAL, AND HE COULDN'T RUN OR JUMP. SUDDENLY, HE TURNED TOWARDS THE SCREEN AND LOOKED AT ME WITH LIFELESS EYES.

"LEAVE NOW." HE SAID IN A REALLY LOUD AND DEMONIC VOICE. I STARTED TO GET A LITTLE FREAKED OUT, BECAUSE THE VOICE WAS WAY CLEARER THAN THE SNES COULD EVER MANAGE. I MADE MARIO WALK FORWARDS, SOME MORE. SUDDENLY I CAME TO A BLOCK AND MARIO JUMPED AND HIT IT. IT WAS THEN THAT I REALIZED THAT I WASN'T CONTROLLING MARIO ANYMORE,MHE WAS MOVING ON HIS OWN. HE HIT THE BLOCK, AND YOSHI CAME OUT AND MARIO JUMPED ON YOSHI. BUT YOSHI'S SPRITE LOOKED DIFFERENT. HE LOOKED REALLY SAD, AND HE TOO MOVED REALLY SLOWLY. I WAS ABLE TO TAKE CONTROL OF MARIO AGAIN. I KEPT GOING, BUT SUDDENLY MARIO STARTED TO PUNCH YOSHI HARD. YOSHI BEGAN TO SCREAM AND CRY AND IT SOUNDED SUPER REALISTIC. THEN MARIO RIPPED YOSHI'S HEAD OFF AND MEGA REALISTIC BLOD CAME OUT. HE TURNED TO THE SCREEN AND SAID ONE THING:

"I WARNED YOU."

THEN THE SCREEN WENT BLACK. THEN A SCARY BACKWARDS SLOW FAST UPSIDE DOWN VERSION OF THE LAVENDER TOWN SONG STARTED PLAYING AND THE CARTRIDGE OPENED UP. THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT AND ATTACKED ME!!!!! I TRIED TO FIGHT BACK, BUT I COULDN'T. THE SKELETON WAS ABNORMALLY STRONG. BUT THEN, MY LIMIT GAUGE FILLED UP AND I USED MY LIMIT BREAK AND KILLED THE SKELETON. BUT IT WASN'T OVER YET. THE CARTRIDGE BEGAN TO FLOAT OUT OF THE SNES, AND IT TURNED INTO EVIL PATRIXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PATRIXXXX THEN KO'D ME AND I PASSED OUT.

WHEN I CAME TO, THE LIGHTS WERE OFF AND I COULDN'T SEE A THING DESPITE IT BEING THE AFTERNOON WITH THE WINDOWS OPEN. I NOTICED I WAS GUSHING BLOOD AND DYING QUICKLY. THEN I ALSO NOTICED THAT A SHADOWY FIGURE SHAPED LIKE MARIO WAS STANDING NEAR ME IN THE DARK AND THAT SAME VERSION OF THE LAVENDER TOWN THEME WAS PLAYING. THE FIGURE SAID:

"IT'S A-ME, MARIO."

THEN THE FIGURE'S EYES GLOWED RED, AND IT SHOT LASER BEAMS AT ME AND I DIED.