Sonic.exe - The Real Story

I'm a total Sonic the Hedgehog fan much like everyone else, I love the newer games, and I never played the classics. I don't think I've ever played any of the classic games, because they looked too old and outdated.

It was a nice summer afternoon, I was playing Sonic Lost Worlds for the first time when I noticed the mailman driving up to my mailbox. He put the mail in the mailbox and left to deliver more mail, because that's his job, to deliver mail. I went to go get the mail and saw a yellow envolope with a note from my long lost friend, Kyle.

I haven't spoken to Kyle in a year, but somehow I recognized his handwriting, though it did look weird. It looked scratchy, like he was in a hurry. Maybe he wrote it while taking a shit, I don't know.

This is what he wrote...

"Tom,

''Destroy This Game As Soon As You Get It! If You Don't, You Could Be Killed By A Sonic The Hedgehog Plushie! Please! Destroy It. Smash It! Burn It! Piss On It For All I Care! Do Something!''

Please...

Kyle"

The note scared me. I opened the CD case and saw a CD that said Sonic 1 on it. It looked like it was written on with a magic marker. I took the game out into my backyard. I placed it on a perfectly cut tree stump. I went into my shed and pulled out my trusty sledgehammer. I took the sledgehammer and continusly kept beating the game until it shattered into a million pieces.

After that, I took the pieces and placed them into my burning barrel, where I had a bonfire later that night. At 11:52 P.M., I put the fire out and I went to bed. I had happy dreams for the rest of the night.