Kid vs Kat: Split Personality

What you are about to hear is pretty graphic, so I'll try not to freak you out. I was very fond of Kick Buttowsky, Jimmy Two-Shoes, and Lab Rats, but never have I heard about this one... yet. I have seen Kid vs Kat, yes, but something about that show's final episode, The Kat Went Back, made me look at it differently. I went online to go to the Kid vs Kat site and saw that the episode list was showing Season 3, but all they showed was a part one and two lost episode that seemed to be cut from the series. Its episode number was S03 E27 and E28. The title was, "Split Personality".

I had never seen Kid vs Kat having a lost episode before, why was it unaired? And how can I get a hold of it before somebody else does? Turns out I actually know the creator of the show, Rob Boutilier, he was my uncle's neighbor and I contacted him in a bar on a Friday evening. He was a little bit drunk, so I had an opportunity to ask him about the lost episode he made. I asked him about it and he was so intoxicated that he just smiled and said,

"You know, I was in a dark place when I made that episode, I'll be honest with you. I just don't want to see my business crumble before me. But, when I.R.S says you gotta go, you gotta go."

I asked him if he can give me any details on how to get in my possession, and he just wrote something down on a piece of paper and handed it to me. I looked, and it was a download link (which I'll not mention due to reasonable reasons I'll explain in the end). I went home after drinking a few shots with Rob and typed in the link on my laptop. As I did this, my computer went crazy, it was the worst virus since the creation of technology. After doing the pain-staking process of rebooting my laptop, I typed the link in my computer again, and what do you know? It finally worked.

All I saw was a black screen with a wall of purple text. And under the text was the link. I clicked on it. And it was an episode of Kid vs Kat.

The intro was normal, but the title screen was a little off. It showed Coop and Kat staring at the viewer looking upset with eyes narrowed, and that's not the strange part. It showed Coop's right side and Kat's left side all together as if it was a half-and-half portrait in a dark and light background, of what looked like Heaven and Hell. And the music didn't help at all, it was a creepy song played by a violin and a piano. And Kat's side was holding a hatchet, so it would look as if the two's faces were on separate sides. But the line in the middle was making it look different.

The show started with Coop walking to school all forlorn, he talks to himself, but what he says was depressing and sad. "I can't take it anymore. Everything I do is wrong in their eyes, it's almost as if Bootsville hates me in general. I mean, what did I ever do to them?"

As Coop says this, he sees the school and glances down at his feet.

"I can't help it if I'm right about Kat being an evil alien. Every time I fight him, I get more and more punishments. It's almost like it's his life goal is to drive me up the wall. I just don't want to deal with Kat anymore. I'm done with it, and if he doesn't care if I'm done with it, then I might as well pull the trigger on myself. Maybe that'll get his attention."

I couldn't believe what I am hearing. Coop had finally hit rock bottom. I thought that Coop had finally snapped and went into depression. I continued to watch and see the rest of the episode.

During school, Coop had gotten bullied and Kat sneaks into the school to get Coop in trouble. He gets an F in every class he took. After school, Coop just stares at the ground in sorrow. He goes in the house to see Millie make fun of him getting expelled from the school.

"Just shut up, Millie," he grumbled quietly, "I don't want to hear it."

He goes upstairs and into his room. He stays quiet for the rest of the day. Kat enters the house from the back door and Millie takes him to her room to play. Burt calls Coop to ask him about him being expelled. He was about to tell him about Kat in the school, but he just told him that he would never believe him about Kat anyway. No one does.

"Coop, you know I love you. But what you say about our cat, it's all lies."

"So, everything I say, like how I would scrape a knee is just for attention?!" Coop snaps, "Do you have any idea how hard I tried to protect you and this family from that purple goon? How I sacrificed my life for this town? If those were just to seek attention and make it about myself, then you need to open your eyes!"

Tears were welling up in Coop's eyes.

"Son," Burt says, "I know when your lying to me, it's not alright to just blame the cat for your mishaps."

"Mishaps? Mishaps?!"Coop said, "Are you crazy?! I should've gotten a humongous thank you! But no, you have to tie me down with razor wire, and force me to swallow broken glass!"

Burt began to stutter in disbelief.

"Force yo- Coop that's not what happened! We saw you hurting Mr. Kat! That's it! Now you stop yelling at me and promise me that you won't blame the cat for your misbehavings!"

"Oh, so now I'M the bad guy?!" Coop spat, "I thought you were there for me. But I was wrong. You don't care about me, you care more about that sick freak than your first born child!"

Coop just walked off, just like that. I paused the video and sat there, thinking 'what the hell did I just watch?'

I just saw Coop's first argument with his own father, who scowls him for trying to stop an alien invasion. I thought Kid vs Kat would be as everyone described it, funny, but bipolar. But what I'm seeing right now... was something more adult.

I continued the episode and Coop slams the bedroom door violently. that night, he just lays in bed crying for the first time in the series. It sounded pained and really pitiful. These were not tears of a child were he or she scrapes her knee, or not getting what they wanted. These were tears of betrayal. He had his face deep in his pillow, he would have been screaming if his face wasn't in his pillow. He couldn't help but cry, there was no chance of fighting back tears now, all he did was whine and whimper. To be honest... I felt sorry for him. He did not want to end up like this, always being treated like shit for just being a local hero.

Coop threw the pillow off his face and just sat there with heavy breathing. He was sweating and his face was red from crying. He got out of bed and just stared out the window and into the night sky.

Kat heard Coop's sobs out on the roof and knew his plan was working. The next day, Coop was fighting Kat and was suddenly taken by Kat Kommander's giant robots. Dennis tried to save him but was caught as well. And I can't recall the rest because it reminded me of The Kat Went Back Part one.

They took the two to Kat Planet, they get imprisoned "Forever", yadda yadda so on and so forth. Like I said, I didn't want to go into any details on this one. So let me get to where it ends. And it's by far the most shocking.

As they broke out, Coop and Dennis stumble upon what is the most damning thing I've ever seen on a kid's cartoon. They went inside a lab on how to make all Kat Nebulan soldiers.

"What is this place, Coop?" Dennis asked in terror.

"I don't know... Maybe this is how these evil cat creatures are generated." Coop explained.

Coop looked at the robotic skeletons of Kat Nebulans and at a glass jar of Kat Nebulan skin, it looked more like light purple liquid with large dark purple spots on it. Dennis clearly wanted out of this place soon as possible.

"This place is giving me the creeps...! L-let's just going...!"

"Wait, maybe there's a camera here!" Coop said, "If we get a photograph of this weird laboratory, maybe Bootsville will believe us!"

Dennis gasped, "Good idea!"

But as they searched for a camera, Kat pounced on them and a fight breaks out. Kat's Armada and the rest of the soldiers joined the battle. But as the fight escalates, Kat grabs the jar of Kat Nebulan skin and gets into a throwing position.

"Coop look out!" Dennis called out in panic.

Kat goes to throw it, but the lid of the jar was off during the fight with Kat bumping into the table. Kat throws the skin on the left side of Coop's face as the jar hits the wall behind him, and Coop let out a gut-wrenching scream as the skin burned into his flesh and skin. All the characters were backing away in shock, and so did Kat who realized what he had done. Coop continued to scream and rive in pain as the skin steamed and contort the left side of his head and upper body into what I can recall as just like the right side of a Katnipian. Coop accidentally knocks himself out by ramming his head into the wall, and part one ends.

I just sat there, dumbfounded. I couldn't tell what I just saw, but I had to press on. So I watched part two.

Coop was in the hospital bed. He was gladly back on Earth with Dennis, who was unharmed. Coop had been in a coma since the incident. Burt was there, and so was Millie. This is where things go down. Burt was arguing with the medical professionals about something. Coop can hear them though... through his left ear of course. He heard his father arguing about Coop and Dennis blaming Kat again for starting a fight with gangs.

"You mean to tell me that my son was getting into it with some gangsters, and he blamed our cat for it?!" He hollered.

"That's what the little girl kid told us!" Answered the surgeon.

Burt turned to Dennis and said, "I'm calling your father, and you Coop, I don't believe what you just did... First, you disobeyed me, second, you had me calling the police and form a search party, now I found you in the hospital?! You just don't listen, do you Coop? You're such a mistake! You heard me, a mistake! No wonder Millie's better than you!"

Coop was hearing all of this, just letting it soak in, slowly. As his mind absorbed the words, he felt that rage. Sick, rich, dark, that syrup of raw, primal emotion. He wanted to scream at his father, to tell him to shut up, that he was the one lying here, half his face burned, disfigured and distorted, all thanks to his father not believing his son about Kat. He wanted to ask him why he wasn't there, why he went off to go shopping or have his haircut or whatever it was that he did all those wasted years. He wanted to know why he’d leave him alone with a cat who just days before tried to obliterate him and his friend. He wanted to know how he could care more about his punishment than the fact that he was lying in the hospital.

However, there was still so much more that he wanted to know as well. He wanted to know how much more his father hated him, how much more he saw him now as a... how did he put it? A mistake. He wanted to continue to swim in the thick pool of dark hatred that was starting to form from the rage and anger. That was a new one now. Before it was anger, then it was anger mixed with pleasure. But now, now it was anger mixed with hatred. And while he certainly longed to be free of it, while he most certainly preferred the false sense of love and concern he believed he’d heard from him before, he also wanted to test it out a bit more. He also began to wonder, how well would this new recipe blend with pleasure, how would it feel?

Later on, the doctor is ready to remove the bandages, "Alright, let's hope it's not too bad."

The doctor snipped at the bandages with a pair of scissors and let them fall off his face. Then Burt was in absolute shock and was on the verge of fainting. Dennis and Millie jumped out of their chairs in mass hysteria. I couldn't tell what Coop looked like since it was all in Coop's eye-view.

"What?! What happened to my face?!" Coop asked, trying to figure out why they are suddenly panicking.

Coop rushed into the bathroom and turned the lights on... and I saw it... his left side of his head, and upper body... it was a mess. The entire left side at least. He now has a greasy complexion, all there was is nothing but the wrinkles on his now purple skin. Around the shoulder, between the left ear, and around the muzzle where the left side of his lips use to be, is where the wrinkles are the heaviest. His left ear is now very large, open wide and upright, much like the ear of a bat. His left eye is wide and round, and his pupil was gone, just a reflection of the lights in the room. The whisker pad on the muzzle are full, as are the pads of his left hand and foot. Coop's teeth is now sharp, and his left hand is now a retractable claw that can cut through practically anything. The hair on the left side of his head was now gone, replaced with a few strans of hair still attached.

Coop just looks and touches his left cheek. It had a wrinkly feel to it now. Dennis puts his hand on Coop's shoulder.

"Coop, it's not that bad. C'mon man, cheer up."

Coop suddenly glances at Dennis with sorrow-filled eyes. Burt just says nothing...

The doctor walks up to him, "I know it's hard Coop, but I'm afraid that we got good news, and some bad news. The good news is that due to the deformity, you're going to have to be home schooled. It's better than to just be the main topic towards school kids during lunch hours and recess."

"What's the bad news?" Dennis asked.

"The bad news is that..." The doctor sighed, "We can't get the skin off."

Coop's face turned to shock, his heart sank to his stomach.

"I'm sorry Coop, but the skin is immovable, it somehow possesses a great healing factor, now that you have it, the left side of your body is now extremely durable. You'll be able to survive even nuclear explosions, electrocution, lose of limbs, or even decapitations."

"What's your point?" Asked Coop, there was a shocked and shaky tone to his voice.

"The point is, that, it heals on it's own. We tried to get the skin off, but as we did so, we saw that the skin was now yours. We peeled it to see muscle and tissue underneath. It's yours now. I'm so, so sorry."

There was no joy from his father on the ride home, or upon arrival. The Burtonburger family spoke very little, and there was a tension in the car that simply wouldn’t fade out. As for Dennis, he was thrilled that his friend was okay, but he didn’t know what to say concerning the damage to his face. So, after asking a few questions about the accident and the recovery, he fell silent as well.

At this point, there was no music, at first, I though my computer froze, they didn't do anything, simply sat there in the vehicle. I was terrified to look, but I couldn't stop myself.

For what felt like an eternity, they walked into the burtonburger home at dusk and Dennis asked about dinner. He suggested they let Coop pick a place, to celebrate his return home.

"Just go to sleep, both of you boys, go to sleep..." Burt remarked. He retreated to his bedroom as well, to argue with Coop in the morning or to feel sorry for himself, who knew?

Coop and Dennis didn’t speak much that night. Coop spent most of the evening staring at himself in the mirror. He kept looking at his new Kat Nebulan face. Dennis wanted to see it too, but felt that it might be imprudent to ask.

"I’m glad you’re home Coop, I really missed you and I’m glad you’re okay." Dennis said to Coop as he stared at himself.

“I’m not Coop, Dennis, and I'm not okay...neither are you. None of us are really. There is a sickness here. The only difference is, now my sickness shows on the outside as well...!" Coop replied, his voice was suddenly flat as that on an answering machine.

"What are you talking about?" Dennis asked.

"One day, you’ll see it too. This is what happens though, this is what happens when it all falls down..." Coop said, still eyeballing the monster in the mirror.

"Coop, I don’t know what you’re trying to say." Dennis responded.

Coop didn’t reply though, and after several moments, Dennis left him alone. Dennis went down to Burt's bedroom and knocked on the door.

"What is it?" the voice of Coop's father asked.

"Mr. Burtonburger, I think Coop is acting weird, you may want to come talk to him."

Burt sighed in annoyance, "Go watch some Captain Blastroid downstars, I'll talk to Coop in the minute."

Being young, Dennis had no other ideas, so he went downstairs and watched TV. He didn’t know that those would be the last words he’d ever hear from the Burtonburger family.

That night, Burt was awakened by Millie, she said that Mr. Kat heard a noise coming from downstairs and was scared. Burt let out a tired groan and let her and Kat sleep in his bed. Hours later, the three awoke to see a small light coming from the doorway. The door was cracked only slightly, and the light source was weak. They could make out a half-animal half-human shape, standing over his bed.

'What, what is going on?' Burt thought.

As his vision came into focus as he put on his glasses, he realized his son was standing before him. Burt reached over and flipped on the lamp next to his bed. Coop was standing there, his disfigured face beaming down on him, with a long kitchen knife clutched in his right hand.

"What are you doing son?" Burt asked, his mind still trying to shake out the cobwebs of sleep.

"He’s got a knife!" Millie screamed, grabbing at her father's arm. Burt kept his composure though.

"Millie, it’s probably the painkillers, he likely got up and got disoriented, relax for Petesake."

Coop tilted his head to one side, still not speaking. He stared hard at his father, slowly bringing the knife up, ensuring that he saw it well. I saw it as well, I couldn't look away, my eyes glued to the screen, not breaking contact for some time.

"Son, what are you doing?" Burt asked.

"Scaring you..." Coop replied, with no emotion in his voice.

"Daddy... do something!" Millie pleaded.

"Okay son, I realize you’ve been through a lot, but you need to go back to bed. I’m going to call the doctor in the morning and…."

Coop moved quickly across to his father’s side of the bed, his head moving about, alternating between a normal looking young man and the deformed ghoul that had been lurking in the shadows.

"Okay son, you’ve scared me, is that what you wanted?" Burt asked, adjusting to the middle of the bed to put distance between himself and his son.

"Good, now I can start hurting you..." Coop spoke again, with no emotion.

His father had time to utter a single syllable, most likely to ask another question, to try and reason with his son. Coop however, gave him time to do no more than that. Millie lunged off the bed, but Coop went after her. Millie attempted to fend Coop off, but the wound to her midsection rendered her into shock, and her arms fell to the side. Coop could hear his father screaming, but paid no mind. He wanted to finish with his sister first.

Removing the knife, Coop stabbed down into her stomach three more times, quickly. His sister gasped and coughed up blood, her body jerked and twitched each time the knife found its mark. After the third time, Millie Burtonburger lay still.

I placed my hand over my mouth, and realized that my palms were sweating. I mean, what the fuck am I even watching?! It turned from a normal kid's show, to a slasher film!

Burt had backed up against the headboard of the bed. He wanted to climb down, make a run for it, but he’d balled himself up between the headboard and the end table. In his frantic state of terror and confusion, he couldn’t figure out how to do something as simple as dismount a bed.

"Coop…. Why, why are you doing this to us?" he asked feebly.

"Kat started it, you must have known that, but you ignored it. Kat sliced my baby blanket to ribbons, you must have seen that, but you ignored it. I was the one lying in the hospital bed, but you believed Kat, why?! So you and Millie could fit in?!" Coop asked in a low, almost growling voice.

"No son, I believed you, it was, just, my job…. And we’re in debt, and…. Oh God Coop please…." his father begged.

"Tell me about how I'm a mistake, dad? Tell me all about how you don’t want to send me out in public because of my face. Tell me how none of the other kids will want to be my friend, and how none of their parents will want to be yours. Tell me about that dad, tell me how nice it’s going to be, you home schooling me…..!"

"Coop please, I was just stressed, I was worried about you that’s all… please I…. I love you…"

"Dad, I think you should take your own advice, you know, what you told Dennis when we got home tonight. He wanted to do something nice to welcome me home, and do you remember what you told us to do instead?" Coop asked, as he now crawled over, cornering his father on the bed.

"What did I say?" Burt asked, the question coming out barely a whisper.

"Go to sleep!" He stabbed him over and over again, and as he did, he finally found that perfect recipe, that heavenly blend. That rage, hate and pleasure all mixed into one perfect formula, and for a while, Coop became lost in it all.

When Coop was tired from stabbing, he walked out and went downstairs, to see Dennis standing there, the house phone in his right hand.

"Coop... You have five minutes before I call the cops... You, have five, minutes..."

Kat was there with him, looking upset, shocked, and broken-heartened.

Coop is now looking fearful, like he had snapped back into reality. He dropped the blood-soaked knife, and started trembling. He looked at his bloody hands, and back at Dennis and Kat.

"...Dennis... What's happening to me...?" Coop's eyes began to tear up, his normal voice came back.

I figured it out. When Coop began to kill Burt, he was like a totally different person. Someone who'll kill someone, as to look at them. Someone who's crazy enough to blow up hospitals for fun. Someone who serves a dark and vengeful god. And that someone, was nothing but a personality of Coop's.

Coop has grown a split personality... And that was the episode's title. The episode had lived up to it's name.

Coop swung the front door open and ran down the street, Dennis tries to stop him, but it was too late. Coop had vanished into the night. It fades to black, and red text appeared on the screen reading,

"No man can hide from his fears; as they are a part of him, they will always know where he is hiding."

Then the episode ends. My vision was already blurry until I couldn't see very well, my face grew wet. I was crying, like a baby.

There was nothing I could do to hold back the tears. I was with this boy from the start, he fended off an evil cat invasion, hung out with his friends, and had a strong relationship with his father. But then, I was forced to watch his decline after so many attempts to expose Kat to the world, and now…he was this. This thing, this abomination.

I watched him go insane.

Halting my tears, wiping my eyes, I closed out the file and just sat there in complete and utter silence. The next day I burned the piece of paper with the download link in the fireplace, I didn't want to show this thing to anyone for obvious reasons. But the episode itself is still on my computer, it's stuck in there for some reason.

Now I work in a coffee plant and got paid every day.

Kid vs Kat is now on YouTube, but I highly doubt I'll watch it. Cause someone might stumble upon the lost episode online somewhere and upload it. You just never know, what would happen if it does rear its ugly head in.

You'll never know.

TheDarkCat97