How To Write a Proper PokePasta

Hello, if you're reading this, you're either curious as to what tips I'm going to provide, or you want to make your own scary story about a haunted Pokemon cartridge, or PokePasta. Whichever one, I hope this guide will help you properly create your very own story. Without further ado, let's get started.

Tip #1: '''DON'T WRITE A GODDAMN POKEPASTA! There are thousands of Pokemon related stories here on this site, as well as Deviantart, and I haven't found one, NOT FUCKING ONE, '''that's remotely scary. You basically need Jesus-in-his-prime tier writing to make it remotely presentable, and even then, some might turn away from it on principle. I don't care how much people call you a good writer. '''IT. WILL. NOT. BE. SCARY.'''

Tip #2: '''DON'T WRITE A GODDAMN POKEPASTA! '''Hell, the whole idea of making a Pokemon-related creepypasta is fucking stupid. The entire concept is that it's taking something family friendly, and chucking loads of gore and blood at it, and adding death in a normally deathless game to try to be scary. Making a Pokepasta is basically the equivalent of someone making a super edgy version of Spongebob where Squidward cuts himself and decides to brutally torture Spongebob and Patrick for annoying him.. Just throwing tons of blood and gore everywhere, because that's how movies do it, right? Fuck any tension or buildup, it's all about the jumpscares and entrails.

Tip #3: Please refrain from attempting to make a scary story based on the popular Pokemon series. Take a look at a single PokePasta on this site for a second. Read it through. I'd bet 100$ that your story followed a mostly identical plot. It was probably going to be named "Pokemon: [SOOPER SKARY ADJEKTIVE] (Insert version name here)" And be about something in the game murdering everyone, the game saying "_ DIED" and you go "BUH POKEYMANS NEVER SAYS DIE BEFORE" and something something Lavender Town, and then you finally turn the game off, and your character probably kills themselves becasue shocking ending. Every single one of these shits is so fucking predictable, any small fragment of tension that the reader might have retained from reading the title just goes right out the window. Your PokePasta isn't going to be original, and you're wasting your time.

And that about does it, I hope you've learned some neat tips on how to create your own Haunted Pokemon Game story, and can put them to good use. Goodbye, and Good Luck!