Johnson and His Lazers

&quot;There was a boy named Johnson.&quot;

&quot;johnson wasn't &quot;normal&quot;

&quot;He had the habit of grabbing sharp objects and staring at them for hours.&quot;

&quot;and due to that he has several eye surgeryies&quot;

&quot;These eye surgeries weren't your usual eye surgeries&quot;

&quot;these were special, but how you might ask?&quot;

&quot;They were done through his ass.&quot;

&quot;Because of these 'special' eye surgeries, Johnson could see things other people couldn't.&quot;

&quot;johnson could see the future, h could see how people died&quot;

&quot;He was the cause of most of them.&quot;

&quot;This wasn't a surprise, considering how his eyes were now connected to his ass.&quot;

&quot;The frustration of not being able to see made him angry.&quot;

&quot;so he pushed sallyoff a cliff&quot;

&quot;So, one day, he left for a deserted island.&quot;

&quot;He hovered there using his ass lasers&quot;.

&quot;He killed lots of fish along the way&quot;

&quot;He eventually reached the island using his ass lasers.&quot;

&quot;Finally, he made it to the island, at the cost of his arms.&quot;

&quot;Waddling on the island ass-first, he stumbled upon a cave.&quot;

&quot;The cave was surprised at Johnson's butt-lasers.&quot;

&quot;The people of the cave worshiped Johnson and his ass-lasers.&quot;

&quot;Eventually, johnson died of starvation, having not fed his hungry orifice in days.&quot;

&lt;hr&gt; This story was created by the bored denizens of the CPW Chat.