That game that I found on eBay that was once in a garage sale that featured items from a flea market trashcan (Parody)

by James Davidson (SirShwibert)

It all started with that game that I found on eBay. It was a Super Nintendo cartridge with with what appeared to be the regular Super Mario World label on it. However, the listed title of the item was &quot;Don't buy this, it will eat you like a french fry!&quot; &amp; the seller's username was &quot;AnOldGuyWhoRecentlyLostHisSon&quot;, I didn't think this was weird so I bought the game anyway. A few days passed &amp; the package arrived. Inside was the game, a note, a rubber chicken &amp; a vile of blood. So far nothing out of the ordinary. I tried to eat the rubber chicken but it wasn't very tasty so I read the note instead.

&quot;Don't play this game, whatever you do! I think it killed my son &amp; my wife &amp; my dog &amp; my goldfish! It is not safe! I guess I could've just destroyed it but, I sold it because that's how these stories work right? Anyway, have fun! Enjoy, that typical creepy old guy who sells haunted games.&quot;

&quot;An interesting note!&quot; I said to myself! &quot;But, I don't have a goldfish so I should be fine&quot;. I took the game and put it in my Super Nintendo. Then I got myself a plate of cheetos &amp; started playing. The title screen appeared normal except, instead of saying &quot;Super Mario World&quot; the title screen said &quot;Blurgy Blurgy Dead stuff Blurgy Blurgy&quot; &amp; the background was a picture of Mario &amp; Luigi swimming in a lake of blood. I thought nothing of it &amp; started the game. Mario was immediately eaten alive by a giant lizard-fish thing but, then the game started normally &amp; I entered Yoshi's Island 1.

The sky was an interesting shade of chartreuse &amp; the ground was covered in blood &amp; skulls. The Koopas were replaced by Dry Bones &amp; the bullet bills looked like hyper-realistic bullets. This was kind of odd but I shrugged it off &amp; continued on. When I beat the level a screen of Mario was shown but, he was crying &amp; one of his feet &amp; a hand were missing. &quot;Poor Mario&quot; I thought. I didn't care for long though because after all I found a disturbing easter egg in a Mario game after all. &quot;What a find!&quot; I said as I took a picture. I would show you the picture but I accidentaly ate the memory card while gardening.

I continued on to Yoshi's Island 2 where everything was just as strange. When I encountered Yoshi his sprite was obviously changed. It was a hyper-realistic rubber chicken that looked exactly like the one that shipped with the game. I thought it was weird. I reached the end where another screen of Mario was shown. However, this time in addition to the earlier changes, his hat was gone &amp; so was his left arm. Blood was everywhere! Mario was crying blood &amp; his arm was spurting blood. After the screen was gone some text popped up saying &quot;I'm a friend of Slendy &amp; he is not amused&quot;. This had to be the strangest thing yet, how could a game from 1991 know about Slendy? &quot;Whatevs&quot; I thought to myself &amp; pressed on.

I beat another level, this time only Mario's head remained. His eyes were out of their sockets rolling on the bloody ground. The pupils were red &amp; the other part was black! His eye sockets were bleeding &amp; his face was a ghostly white. Text appeared above him said, &quot;I shall eat your puppy in the future!&quot; I thought this was weird as I didn't have a puppy nor did I ever plan to get one. The weirdest part however was the fact that in the background was a hyper-realistic image of my second cousin eight times removed, Billy-Bobfred! It just so happens that earlier that week he had choked to death on a rubber chicken! It all made sense now, I grabbed the cartridge &amp; smashed it. Then I threw the remainder at a random passing car. I still don't understand why they glared at me.

I went to the kitchen to get myself some more cheetos to help me calm down. When I came back to my room the cartridge was back in the Super Nintendo! I knew I had to beat the game! After a long time &amp; alot of increasingly weird, disturbing &amp; hilarious messages I made it to Bowser! Except, his helicopter was a hyper-realistic Hind &amp; he was just a regular looking soldier. Nevertheless I destroyed the Hind &amp; beat the game. Then the screen went black &amp; I heard a sizzly sound. The Cartridge had dissapeared &amp; in it's place was delicious bacon! I grabbed the bacon &amp; put in on a plate but, before I could eat it, I noticed that there was a Yoshi Plushy on my bed, except it's eyes were black &amp; red. Then it killed me, the end.