The Worst Disease Ever

I didn’t mean to do it. It just kind of… happened. Like how you cannot change the rising of the sun, my fate was unavoidable. And, should you decide to read this, as can yours. Pootie Pinkerton was an unfortunate victim of the Donkey Scrotum virus, and I shall not rest until the world knows it’s dangers.

The D.S.V. started many years ago, when a man unknowingly swallowed raw donkey juice in his sleep. This mix of blood and rainbow bile mixed with his already steroidal veins, transforming him into a testicle of unspeakable terror. From there, it spread to the global populace, and soon the world became mobile genitalia.

Pootie was my best friend, who always did her homework and always gave her homework happy endings. When she was infected by a man turned rabid by copious amounts of Dick Salts. He licked her face, and she screamed, pulling out pepper spray and blinding him before running off. Her foot was already goopy by the time she got to me.

I write this as she mutates into her scrotal form. Lord help me.