VeggieTales 1997: The Ultimate Trollpasta

NOTE: This is a trollpasta. It is not meant to be taken seriously, as it is all for laughs. PAGE 1,000, BY THE WAY!!!!!! Oh yeah, to all: have fun adding any categories you'd like! ;)By Biondipastas

(Just in case the Shadow Reader reads this: you want a completely different VeggieTales creepypasta? You freaking got one!)

Hi kids! Welcome to CreepyTales. I'm a random generic guy who lives in a pineapple under the sea. No, I'm not SpongeBob, but I'm equally as horny and perverted. I also have a criminal record, in case anyone's wondering. Anyways, as a Christian (after literally just mentioning my criminal record), I grew up with a random show called VeggieTales (I bet you can see where this is going). The show was about a talking tomato and a silly cucumber who did a bunch of religious bullcrap (whoops, almost forgot I was a Christian) and the show oddly appealed to me. Nowadays, the show sucks ass thanks to the VeggieTales in the House bullcrap that shouldn't exist. Anyways, my favorite episode of VeggieTales is called Josh & The Big Wall. I'm actually quite surprised it's not called Trump & The Big Wall, but that's beside the point.

I realized that my Josh & The Big Wall VHS tape was insanely damaged and I haven't played it in, like, 17 years (that's right, I kept count), so I decided to go to Amazon to buy another tape. The first thing that came up was a tape that said "OH MY FREAKING GOD BRAND NEW VEGGIETALES 1997 JOSH AND THE BIG WALL TAPE TOTALLY NOT FROM A GODDAMN FLEA MARKET AND DEFINITELY NOT A POSSESSED TAPE HENCE ALL OF THE VEGGIETALES 1993 CREEPYPASTA RIPOFFS", and it caught my eye. I was in the mood for something spoopy, so I bought the tape. A week later, my tape came in. After opening the box, the cover was a picture of VeggieTales as if it was an anime. In the background behind Bob and Larry was a bunch of furries that were creepy AF. One of the guys even had a full-on polar bear suit, and on top of that, he was having intercourse with another furry in a full-on fox suit! My God, this is even weirder than that SpongeBob default dancing Laserdisc! (M. Night Shyamalan plot twist #1: two trollpastas existing in the same universe.) Anyways, because I own a VCR (#PlotConvenience), I put in the tape and it started playing.

Now, just like all the other creepy VeggieTales tapes, it played the normal theme song, then it cut to Bob and... Junior on the countertop- wait a minute, that's from the actual episode. It went on to show the Israelites singing about the Promised Land, then after that it showed them bumping into a big wall, and then it had The Song of the Cebu, and the rest of the episode played normally! Goddammit, I was in the mood for a generic and overly-cliche VeggieTales creepy VHS, says everyone who isn't the Shadow Reader reading this creepypasta. After the credits, it showed a post-credits scene with Nick Fury. What is this, the League of Incredible Vegetable initiative?! Nick Fury was talking to Alfred/Archibald Asparagus about some superhero-related stuff until the tape abruptly cut to black and showed the "DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO GET A NETWORK TO BROADCAST AN HOUR OF AIRTIME TO A BUNCH OF VEGETABLES?" clip from the VeggieTales 1995 VHS that my friend gave me after saying it was insanely possessed, only it was earrape and distorted. (M. Night Shyamalan plot twist #2: two VeggieTales creepy tapes existing in the same universe.)

I ejected the tape from the VCR, then I laughed my ass off. This is a sight to behold. Anyways, I e-mailed the person who sold the tape, and I thanked him for such an amazing experience. Turns out this dude is actually Markiplier! (M. Night Shyamalan plot twist #3: a gamer sells a VeggieTales bootleg tape. Does that make any sense? I don't know!) Anyways, Markiplier told me he just wanted to get this off his system and that he really didn't care about my opinions. Anyways, I went on to upload everything I said about this weird-ass tape to the Geosheas Lost Episode website, and all I can say is, I'm proud I had that experience.

Okay, none of this made sense. Go ahead and bash this, Shadow Reader. [[Category:This mailbox is mine And this triagonal sign That blue balloon The month of June They're mine, mine, mine, mine, mine Ziggy's sweets are mine That birdie's tweets are mine The city's street Both your feet They're all emphatically mine It all belongs to me]] [[Category:Aww snap, aw snap, come to our macaroni party then we'll take a nap. Aww snap, aw snap, come to our macaroni party then we'll take a nap. Aww snap, aw snap, come to our macaroni party then we'll take a nap. Aww snap, aw snap, come to our macaroni party th]] [[Category:We're the Religetables, we always go to Church, tales of Spirit we will tell! We're the Religetables, we never touch ourselves, because we don't wanna go to Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]] [[Category:There's no earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a blowing?  Not a speck of light is showing so the danger must be growing]] [[Category:BAA IM A ULTRA BAA BAA BABABABABABABABABABABABABABBAABABABABABVAABABABVAABABABABABABBAABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABBABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABBAABABABABABABABBABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABBAABABABABB]] [[Category:Trololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololo]]