Creepypasta Product Reviews

'''Creepypasta Product Reviews ''' This a series of creepypasta products that people review. Note: these are illegal to own. This is Captain Crunch speaking: DON'T BUY THE Sonic.EXE Cereal

Before a company goes public there is this thing called "666". 666 means that the they have to wait for a limousine as transportation. The limousine is really a UFO that landed here whatever years ago. The UFO has to wait for about 1.82 seconds for it to lift off. The guys inside the limousine drink drinks and eat... SONIC.EXE CEREAL. The cereal is based on the highly successful beloved creepypasta "Sonic.EXE". They have to wait for about 2.666 days for it to start and of cource like I mentioned (duh) 1.82 seconds.... AGAIN! Yes this means that they will miss their parents while in the limousine. The also forgot to go to the bathroom, until it turns into a UFO and it spawns a couple doors!

Now... Anti-Bob.dll Bob

Bob.EXE: Just imagine!

Me: Shut up Bob.EXE! I'm reading this stupid trollpasta!

Now JUST IMAGINE..... You are a security guard who feels down on a really really really really really bad bad bad bad bad day day day day. Well the solution is to take a bite of the Sonic.EXE Cereal. The flavors are hyper-realistic blood cherries, organs, and DEMONS!

These things are really really powerful. More powerful than GOD! I AM GOD! You decided to get in the UFO limousine. You feel competently relaxed. Now enjoy yourself on this amazing adventure.

There's just one problem. You forgot to go to the bathroom. You can't find it anywhere in this UFO limousine. Or can you? But this gets 666% worse!

I was scared with all the bodily fluids inside me. I ran to the door. It was the danger door. I fell down the stairs 666 times hyper-realistically! My butthole was releashing a terrible monster! I was then in a room with giant monkey! The moneky had hyper-realistic balls and hyper-realistic eyes as hyper-realistic blood came pouring down them! This is the place where the Chinese people get sacrificed. I came out, with no legs. The freaking monkey bit my legs off so I had to crawl. I saw a woman dressed in a donkey suit. "HEEELP ME!" I cried. "I need the bathreem". The donkey lady said "Sorry there in none here!". I cried as hyper-realistic bleed was dripping from my eyes. The eyes fell out of my eye socket and guts started to come out! My face started to fall apart, revealing a hyper-realistic skull! I open my jaw as hyper-realistic nachos came out! People came in line for the nachos. I kicked one of them in nards! I ran back in the dangerous room like an idiot just to see a skeleton sitting on something.

It was a toilet! Finnaly I get my wish. Thanks God! "Your welcome!" God says from the magical sky! I rushed to the toilet, put the skeleton away, and started my poo poo in the potty! Tears of joy come out my eyes, and they were blood red! I am soo happy! Dark Red goo starts coming out of my bowl and I feel compactly relaxed. Hearts, organs, stomach bile, cakes, cereal, and onions started coming out of butthole. I felt so Happy! I then pooped a demon with my little willy. The demon started to do the dynamite dance! I danced with him as epic music was playing in toilet. The toilet was really a radio! I was dumping on a radio! The music was played in reverse and had awful kefka laughs in it! Poop still coming out my hole! After the music was done the demon used his eyes and knoucked me out, butt I was stillllllll aliivieivie. I walked as I heard some epic music. Jackie Chan appeared! He was requesting nachos with hot cheese! OMG I had to hurry up as the crap was soaking from my pants. I put my skin back together and vomited 666 nachos! And then a skeleton popped out and killed me!