Thermonuclear 🅱omb.txt

06/06/1957

sory if my engish is shity ive got 2 get dis esay 2 squidwurd b4 he comits die

bfdi waz revulushunary wen it kemt out in '43. howevur it turnt out 2 be a sovet propaganda!!!

but dats not wat im her 2 talk about today. im her to talk bout dah thermonuclear 🅱omb rusa's gona dropp on deh nurth poal! waaa so tiday i gona tel u guize deh trooth about sandy claws!!

1.he dosent exust! sum sekret fingy gifs al deh cids presnets on cristmas!

2.hes a dimon! n0 ofense santy clas but im heer 2 tel teh trooth!

Santa Claus was born on Christmas, 1,957 years ago. He was Jesus Christ, but then some evil prick crucified him, and then he came to life again and he gives all the children presents on Christmas! But then this happened!

It was 1851! Ebenezer Scrooge murdered 666 people with a fryingpan and got away with it cuz he was anonymous on 4chan! Actually that didn't exist back then! But he invented Gamer Girl Bathwater which only became popular now because of his horny great-granddaughter Belle Delphine. But anyways onto the subject. Jesus was flying an Apache attack helicopter, I mean a sleigh over London but crashed so Ebenezer Scrooge killed him but then he turned into Kris Kringle, and this happened!

Kris Kringle's lucky number is 666 which is why it's so bad! So Kris Kringle punched Scrooge in the ovaries and hyper-realistic blood flew everywhere! Lots of people drowned in it! So then after the battle ended Kris Kringle gained weight from the trauma, got a snowsuit and painted it in Scrooge's hyper realistic blood which is why Santa Claus' red suit is red and is also fat!

So then he took over from Jesus to give all the kids presents. But they didn't count on one thing. HE'S A DEMON! Nothing can kill him because he drank Gamer Girl Bathwater after murdering Scrooge! Also he murdered the entire Scrooge family except Belle Delphine who he's planning to kill tomorrow if the Russians nuke the North Pole!

So anyways one day 50 years ago some corporation found Santa Claus and decided to give him a break and then they purchase all the toys and then give them to the kids! But they didn't count on one thing! If Russia blows up their base Santa Claus will destroy the world. So spread the word around and please ask the Eurasians not to drop their 🅱omb on the North Pole!

A few years ago, 20 bodybuilders and 20 lingerie models went on an expedition to the North Pole, allegedly to pleasure Santa, if you know what I mean. But then Belle Delphine teleported infront of them and she ran all the way to the north pole because IDK. Then Santa Claus saw her. He grabbed his AK-47, three fragmentation grenades and a combat knife and he killed Belle Delphine! And then a hyperrealistic skeleton popped out of her corpse! However Belle Delphine went home and bought a new skeleton and now she's a demon too. If you guys nuke the north pole Santa Claus will rape Belle Delphine and bring about the Dark Ages!

True Story.

-Nunya Bissniss