May Death do Me Part

If I had a nickel for every time I killed someone, I’d-I’d be a very rich man.

I know that came out of left field and all, but I have a story.

My friend, Andrew Thomas, was murdered last night. And I did it.

Please, God, forgive me. Strike me down, and kill me, I have done awful things.

“Please, God, strike me down and let me die, I repent for all I’ve done. I deserve what I get. My death will be well deserved. Death is the only penalty for me.”

I am nothing but a terrible human. I deserve death.

Every human will die, every murderer will die. I will die.

I know this was a long introduction, so now let me get to the chase:

My name is Alan Torrence. And I murdered half the town.

It’s not my fault. I didn’t want to do this. I never wanted to do this.

He said it would be okay, He said I’d be fine, He said I would get away with it.

He was wrong. You may be wondering who He is, let me explain.

His name, at least what he told me, Josh Williams. I later found out, he was the devil.

Well, not exactly. He was possessed. I was at my shift last Friday, goddamn that was so long ago. I was on my break, eating a burger, chatting with co-workers. I looked down for about a second, then everyone was gone. “Hey, want to kill people?” Josh asked me. “Hey, what the fuck man?” I snapped. “You look like someone I can trust. You in?” He said. “What’s in it for me?”

“Money. Lot’s and lot’s of money.”

And so long story short, we’re here.

And you may be wondering who Andrew is, well here.

He was my best friend back in Highschool and well into college.

One night, at 1:03 am, before math class, we got high as shit. And well we were tripping on acid, Andrew said to me, “Hey, how’s the sex with Jen?” I said, “Well, we’re taking a bit of a break. I met her parents, and her dad hated me-” He cut me off. “Wait! I have an idea!”

We went to his old house, after the drugs faded off of course. We went to his parent’s old house, called some hookers, went to separate rooms. And you know the rest.

After that, we went back to our dorm. The next morning, I saw Andrew in our bathroom. He was dead. And I saw blood on my shirt. Josh was next to his lifeless body, and he said, “Remember our deal?”

Credited to LameDateWhy