Deadass 🅱️art

You know how Fox has a weird way of counting Simpsons episodes? They refuse to count a couple of them, making the amount of episodes inconsistent. The reason for this is a lost episode from Season 1. Finding details about this missing episode is difficult, as no one who was working on the show at the time likes to talk about it.

From what’s been pieced together, the entire lost episode was written entirely by Matt Groening. During production of the first season, Matt started to act strangely. He was very quiet and seemed nervous and morbid. Mentioning this to anyone who was present resulted in them to get very angry, and well, forbidding you to ever mention it to Matt.

I first heard of it in an event where David Silverman was speaking. Someone in the crowd asked about the episode, and Silverman simply left the stage, ending the presentation hours early.

The episode’s production number was 7G06. The title was Deadass 🅱️art. The episode labeled 7G06, Moaning Lisa, was made later and given Deadass 🅱️art’s production code to hide the latter’s existence. In addition to getting angry, asking anyone who was on the show about it will cause them to do everything they can to stop you from directly communicating with Matt Groening.

At a fan event, I managed to follow him after he spoke to a crowd, and eventually have the chance to talk to him alone as he was leaving the building. He didn’t really seem upset that I had followed him, probably expecting a typical encounter with an obsessive fan.

When I mentioned the lost episode though, he burst out laughing. When I awkwardly chuckled in return and asked him if he could tell me any details, he was laughing to the point of tears. He grabbed a piece of paper, wrote something on it (pausing at points to get a grip on himself) and handed it to me, and then begged me to never mention the episode again. He walked away, still gasping whilst trying to tell me that the episode was “way past him”.

The piece of paper had a website address on it. I would rather not say exactly what it was for reasons you’ll see in a second. I entered the address into my browser and came across a site that was completely black. Except for a line of yellow text; a download link, which I clicked on, and a file started downloading.

Once the file was downloaded, my computer went CRAZY. It was one of the worst viruses I’d ever seen! Moonlight by XXXTENTACION was blasting at a loud volume that I couldn’t turn down for my life. Once I unplugged it, the system restore didn’t work and the entire computer had to pretty much be rebooted. Before doing this, though, I copied the file onto a CD with super wizard magic.

I tried to open it on my now empty computer, and as I suspected, there was an episode of The Simpsons on it.

The episode started off like any other episode, but with very poor quality animation. If you’ve seen the original animation for Some Enchanted Evening, it was similar but less stable. The first act was fairly normal, but the way the characters acted were a little bit off. Homer seemed angrier, Marge seemed depressed, Lisa seemed anxious, and Bart seemed to have a genuine anger and hatred for his parents. He was also very… wannabe gangsta when he spoke. Kept talking about clout and all that. At this, I was confused. Clout existed in 1990??? I thought to myself.

The episode was about the Simpsons going on a plane trip. At the end of the first act, the plane was taking off and Bart was fooling around, as you’d expect. In the midst of this, he met a big man, with a lot of acne, donning a Supreme headband and a shrimp neck pillow. Wait, Supreme wasn’t a thing until 1994, I thought to myself. The further I watched, the more suspicious this entire thing became.

Even though the man was on a plane, he was recording himself smoking a Backwoods blunt, saying something about getting “iced up”. Wait, was this… No. It couldn’t be… It can’t be! SUPREME PATTY? Bart jumped up to him and asked if he could take a hit. The man handed it to him, as well as a pair of white clout goggles. He started recording Bart, in a state of euphoria. You know, seeing a 10 year old smoking weed isn’t the most common thing.

However, as the plane was about 50 feet off of the ground, Bart broke a window on the plane and triggered a vaporwave edit, clearly made in the style of an edgy 14 year old kid who still listens to Juice Wrld and XXXTENTACION. Before I go on to describe this, I would like to point out something. At the beginning of the series, Matt had an idea that the animation style of The Simpsons would represent fire music, and that trash music turned things more realistic, and they used that in this episode.

With that being said, the edit was made in an incredibly realistic fashion. It was of Bart getting high, then turning into the late rapper, XXXTENTACION. Now, I see these edits all of the time, but the fact that this episode was from the first season is what really unnerved me.

If you’re unfamiliar with XXXTENTACION, he was a rapper on the platform of SoundCloud who frequently abused women and was arrested several times. In June of 2018, he was planning on hosting a charity event in Florida, but was shot to death. This devastated his fanbase of millions of people, though in all seriousness, it was mostly edgy teenagers.

In the edit, there was a distorted version of “SAD!” With the beat of “Changes”. Bart had pretty much lived the life of X, complete with his death and everything. No, it wasn’t the fall from the plane that had killed him. It was the edit. But that wasn’t my question, my question was how Matt knew this was going to happen. How he knew about the death of a rapper that wasn’t even born yet, how he knew that people would make cringeworthy edits of his own cartoon...

The picture of Bart’s corpse was barely recognizable, with the dreadlocks of X, and they took advantage of it not having to move. They made an almost photorealistic drawing of a fresh timb sitting in his lap. The anatomy of his body seemed realistic, though still drawn in a cartoony fashion. Act one ended with a shot of Bart’s corpse, taken directly from the angle of XXXTENTACION’s death.

Act 2 started with Homer, Marge, and Lisa sitting at the table, sobbing, and staring at their SoundCloud. The crying went on and on, and got more pained. It sounded more realistic, better acting than you would think possible. The animation started to decay and deep fry as they cried.

I could hear murmuring in the background. The murmuring was paired with “BAD”. The characters could barely be made out at all. They were stretching and blurring, and looked like deformed shadows with random bright colors thrown on them. There were faces looking through the window, flashing in and out so at normal speed you were never sure what they looked like. After several attempts of pausing and unpausing, I was able to make out the faces of Supreme Patty, Peter Griffin, and Lil Broomstick (AKA Yung Cash Register).

The crying went on for most of act 2, but toward the end, Lisa suffered through an edit of her own. It was incredibly distorted and deep fried, but yet opaque. She was seen being rejected by several boys, and then smoking weed out of a bong. Oh no, was Lisa next?? It faded out and ended, which gave me a minor cringe fest.

Act 3 opened with a title card saying that one year had passed. Homer, Marge, and Lisa were dirty, and their clothes became more ghetto, with Zumiez coupons piling up over a timelapse, still sitting at the table. There was no sign of Maggie or the pets.

Homer was wearing a Thrasher shirt with a durag on his head, bearing resemblance to XXXTENTACION’s partner in crime, Ski Mask the Slump God, possibly symbolism of Homer’s relationship with bart.

Lisa, now shown smoking out of the same bong, with John Lennon like clothes, somehow survived the edit. Just barely, however, as her eyes were almost completely bloodshot due to the amount of weed she had been smoking in the edit. Marge, who was lucky enough to avoid an edit, was wearing a pair of checkered Supreme clout goggles.

They decided to visit 🅱️art’s grave. Springfield was almost completely deserted and as they walked to the cemetery, the houses became more and more decrepit. They all looked abandoned. You could inadvertently hear gunshots and police sirens. Damn, this town got hella ghetto.

When they got to the grave, 🅱️art was just lying in front of the tomb, looking just like he did in the end of act one. The family started crying again, but like act 2, I could barely make it out. It seemed that the music was becoming… Fire. Sound started to emit from Bart’s corpse. Light appeared behind it. The family was blinded by the glory that was happening, until they just stopped and stared at 🅱️art’s body.

🅱️art had arisen. The song, “Stereo Love”, by Edward Maya was playing whilst 🅱️art rose, N posing. All that he said was “Oh, on Jah?” as it zoomed into him, becoming more earrape by the second.

  The camera zoomed in to Homer’s face. According to summaries, Homer tells a joke, but it wasn’t audible in the version I saw due to the blasting audio and the deep fried distortion. I could only make out the word “Deadass”. The view zoomed out and the episode came to a close.

Behind, it showed the tombstones for every single guest star on The Simpsons, and even some rappers that haven’t been on the show yet. For people like Michael Jackson and George Harrison, the dates were correct. But there was something weird about the guest stars and rappers that haven’t died yet.

They all displayed a photo… of George Jetson.