Trollpasta Compilation Vol. 3

The Gardener Is Coming
One day, I was at home chillin and writing my grocer list on my iPad and I went in my notes to type it and it said. The gardener is comming... I said wtf and continued to get ready. Then I heard my email thing and checked I and it said the gardener is coming... I got scarred, so I went to my bathroom sink and washed my face. Then a fax thing came in and it said the gardener is comming... In red letters. Goddamnit, my ink was being used. So I got my gun and ran outside and yelled ho the he,ll is the gardener. A dinosaur thing came and said I am and it bit me. I turned into a dinosaur. It was scary. Rooooaaaaarrrhhh.

The Great Ghastly
ONCE THERE WAS A MAN NAMED GATSBY

HE WAS REALLY GREAT

THEN ONE DAY HE DIED

NOW HE'S THE GREAT GHASTLY

Gee Whizz
i was flying through the clothes department of a matalan i needed to piss real bad so i flew into the bathroom and when i flew in my flying abilities were lost (the bathroom looks exactly like my schools bathrooms) and i ran to the disabled toilet (jeff the killer and slendy were at the urinals but i needed to piss so bad i just ran past them) and there was rainbowdash getting raped by jeff and slendy then they stopped and said &quot;now its your turn&quot; and i think you can figure out the rest (this is a real dream i had no joke)

Written by Harkat on a Creepypasta Wiki Chat.

Fog
It was a cold night in late November. A dense fog hung low over the empty, decrepit streets of my hometown (which was now more like a ghost town). I stood on the curb across from my old house, trying to see through the impenetrable fog, but to no avail. Even the nostalgic feeling I usually got from revisiting my hometown was obscured by the fog, replaced by something far more ominous....

Suddenly, I started to hear footsteps in the distance. Soft at first... ever so soft, like tip-toeing... Then gone. Then back again... Then gone. Then back again, this time growing progressively louder... Louder... Louder... LOUDER... And then gone. I stood on the curb for what seemed like hours, trying to decide if running away was a good idea or not. I looked into the distance and the fog seemed to dissipate. Then it went back to normal. Then it seemed to dissipate again... And then back to normal.

I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I turned around to look and there was nothing. I turned around again and...nothing. When I turned around for a third time, a nuclear explosion happened.

Games from another board
It was a dark and spooky morning. With the curtians pulled in.It was a saturday, and it was a normal day...right?

Well i got onto 4chan /b/ to do my daily raging on how 9gag is a better site than 4chan, i mean think about it, the circkejerks are funny and #YOLO #SWAG btw.

Annnywaaay. My brother who i raped just yesterday cum up the stairs dragging somthing ling behind him...

it was a board game, called Custers Revenge. I gasped and asked &quot;Where the hell did you get thet?&quot; He said &quot;In your dragon dildoes drawer, wanna play?&quot; I havent played that game in forever and there is a reason why, but i accepted the challange.

He opened the board and i set it up and turned on the board game. As soon as he rolled the dice, he got doubles, but i forgot i had 4chan up cause i thought it was cool to leave that up, then a brown haired man picked up the dice and said &quot;DOUBLES GET!!!!&quot; He rolled and got a 3 and a 2. &quot;FUCK&quot; he said and went back in the screen.

My brother moved the game piece and landed on a space, a skeleton space. A skeleton popped out devouring my brother into the abyss known at Custards Revenge, i saw the screen showing him getting raeped by general custard.

I watched and came all across the screen while crying. Then i saw the board show two words on there, the horrid two words

The Game

Chocolate Bar
It is said that in the suburbs of Chicago, IL, lies an abandoned chocolate factory with thousands of unwrapped chocolate bars. It is said that the factory used to be a place for occult practices and human sacrifice after the chocolate factory closed down. The cult that used the factory cursed exactly half of the chocolate bars from the defunct chocolate company that got shut down after their chocolate caused headaches and vomiting which lead to the death of 22 people in Chicago that bought the chocolate from 7-11. The cult hoped to get the chocolate out under a new name and cause a massive illness to spread across the nation and kill millions, but luckily the attempt was foiled, and due to their hundreds of murders, each of the 14 members was given the death sentence. If you go into the factory and eat one of the chocolate bars, in under 30 seconds, one of the following things will happen to you:

1. If you eat an uncursed chocolate bar, you will get sick for exactly one day after eating it, but you will recover and live a good, long life.

2. If you eat a cursed chocolate bar, you will get in a freak accident that nearly costs you your life within 24 hours. You will be plagued by bad luck and illness that will eventually cause you to die. The only way to prevent your death is to kidnap and sacrifice someone to the spirits that haunt the factory by forcing them to stuff cursed chocolate bars into their mouths until they suffocate and die. You will be caught for the murder and be put into prison. However, 25% of this kind of chocolate will either cause you to murder your whole family and be given the death sentence or the spirits of the factory will drive you insane to the point where you sacrifice yourself to them.

Eat wisely.

OH YEAH
Something is coming. I can hear it.

It is the bane of every child's existence.

He comes without warning. He comes without fear. He comes without any seeming reason or purpose. But he comes anyway. And he is to be feared.

I don't know what I did. I don't think I ever will, whether I live or not. He deals out his wrath unconditionally and mercilessly.

Thump. Thump.

&quot;Well,&quot; I think to myself, &quot;this is the end.&quot;

I could hide under my bed; I still must have enough time to get under my bed, right?

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

It's getting faster now, coming up the stairs... I've got to get to the closet!

Thump.

Wait... SHIT! It stopped moving! I have to be silen-AH-CHOO!

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP

Nonononononono! Gotta get to the closet! Dammit! Pajamas! Why must you be caught on the bed frame?!

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP

It's nearing the top of the stairs! I've got to get d-CRASH!

Before I could move, before I could BLINK, I see the horrifying monstrosity.

Its bulky, large body is not like that of other creatures. It seems to be... clear... but I can see its organs, its blood. Thick, red blood, and several organs... which appear to be... block-shaped?

I look at its giant face. Its eyes and mouth stand out in stark contrast to the rest of it; thick, dark fur coating the outlines of its eyes and mouth. It appears to be nose-less.

The beast and I continue to stare at each other, for what feels like hours; finally, its eyes grow to huge sizes... it locks eyes with me, penetrating my soul with its terrifying gaze... and it unleashes its terrible, heart-wrenching roar.

&quot;OH YEAH!&quot;

Sonic 06
I wen't to Gamestop and found a copy of Sonic 06 it was 999 dollars and 999 cents. I bought it, and ran to my house which was only 99999 blocks away. After 9999 milleneums of getting to my house I put the game in my GameCube cartridge, I grasped the controller in my hand and played the game.

The glitches.... they're everywhere, I was horrified by the glitched that I was so horrified by the 999999 glitches, that I lost all of my bones, blood, now I am just skin.

POKEMON DARK SCARY SPOOKY COLOR
ONE TIME I WAS OUTSIDE AND SOME OLD GUY HAD A POKEMON GAME SO I BOUGHT IT. WHEN I GOT HOME, I PUT IT IN MY PS3 AND THE GAME STARTED. THE TITLE SCREEN CAME OUT AND IT SAID POKEMON DARK SCARY SPOOKY COLOR! IT WAS SO SCARY I CRIED! I PLAYED THE GAME AND PROFESSOR COKE SAID I HAD TO COLLECT 666 DIGMON AND MY TRAINER'S NAME WAS DEAD GUY AND THAT MADE ME THROW UP. MY TRAINER WALKED AROUND AND A MAN SAID &quot;I AM DEVIL! P.S. THAT MEANS SATAN.&quot; I FUCKING KICKED MY TV SCREEN OPEN AND A YOKO ONO CAME OUT AND I ALMOST WET MY CLOWN PANTS. THE YOKO ONO SAID I WILL PAY FOR WHAT I DID SO I WENT TO BEST BUY AND BOUGHT A NEW TV.

P.S. I'M DEAD

Gonzalo
Gonzalo's a fucking bitch.

The following was a note found attached to a diary. These are the diary pages, in order the pages were written:

10/5/12:That senile old man keeps telling me stories. Something about how Barrack Obama is actually a shape shifting reptilian-like creature that can shoot lasers out of his urethra and is threatening to destroy all of the ice cream trucks in existence. I'm actually quite curious about these stories the old man keeps telling me. I'm also curious as to who this old man even is. I'll find out more on Tuesday.

10/9/12:I asked the old man what his name is mid-conversation. He was talking about how bubble gum is made out of severed monkey penis meat and that it will infect all kids who chew it with a mind-controlling bacteria to believe that Justin Timberlake is god. Anyhow, his response to my question was what really confused me though, he kept spewing random gibberish. All I could make out as was &quot;Gone son low&quot;. I took this phrase and made it his name. Gonzalo. I'm still confused as to who exactly Gonzalo is though.

10/12/12:I stopped by Gonzalo today. He seems extremely ill though, like he hasn't eaten in days. He was barely breathing. I'm worried.

10/27/12:Gonzalo is dead. He died one week ago and his funeral was yesterday. All of his friends and family were there, and it turns out his friends and family were rats. I was the only human who attended. It was really sad, but senile old men don't tend to live long.

11/3/12:I keep hearing this ringing sound, like a telephone. I check my phone and nobody is calling or anything. I need to investigate this.

11/7/12:The damn ringing. It won't stop, I haven't slept in days. I also hear slight laughter too. Followed by a horrid stench that smells like skunk spray. But then I remembered, my roommate is a skunk and she sprayed me because I took the last slice of pizza.

11/14/12:I finally got a call. It was from Gonzalo. I was in shock, he's fucking dead. He's. Fucking. Dead. I'll answer it tomorrow.

11/15/12:The phone never stopped ringing. I finally picked it up and answered. It was Gonzalo's old raspy voice saying asking one question. &quot;Did I ever tell you about how blankets are made out of hooker unicorn skin...?&quot;.&quot;Gone son low&quot;. I took this phrase and made it his name. Gonzalo. I'm still confused as to who exactly Gonzalo is though.

10/12/12:I stopped by Gonzalo today. He seems extremely ill though, like he hasn't eaten in days. He was barely breathing. I'm worried.

10/27/12:Gonzalo is dead. He died one week ago and his funeral was yesterday. All of his friends and family were there, and it turns out his friends and family were rats. I was the only human who attended. It was really sad, but senile old men don't tend to live long.

11/3/12:I keep hearing this ringing sound, like a telephone. I check my phone and nobody is calling or anything. I need to investigate this.

11/7/12:The damn ringing. It won't stop, I haven't slept in days. I also hear slight laughter too. Followed by a horrid stench that smells like skunk spray. But then I remembered, my roommate is a skunk and she sprayed me because I took the last slice of pizza.

11/14/12:I finally got a call. It was from Gonzalo. I was in shock, he's fucking dead. He's. Fucking. Dead. I'll answer it tomorrow.

11/15/12:The phone never stopped ringing. I finally picked it up and answered. It was Gonzalo's old raspy voice saying asking one question. &quot;Did I ever tell you