FINAL COMBAT: 666 HOLY SHIT SPOOK UP THE ARSE SCREAM FORTRESS 2 EDITION!

One day me and my friend Jimmy decided to buy a game called Final Combat off of some creepy old lad at a boot sale, it was really cheap so we decided to give it a try. 666 minutes later we got home and decided to try it out, when we opened the case a skeletal figure popped out and stabbed me in the heart and left me to bleed to death. In my dying breaths I saw a river of red ichor gush out of my chest and form a pentagram on the floor, with my now screaming friend in the middle. Then I woke up to my concerned friend prodding my chest. He said that I had just collapsed upon opening the game. I felt as this was a bad omen, a sign Satan didn't want us to play this game.

Taking my first look at the inside of the game case showed a red disk with strange unidentifiable shapes etched into it, and the words FINAL COMBAT SPOOKY 666 SPECIAL EDITION written on with red marker pen. I also noticed some small print below which said MUCH NOT TF2 RIPOFF written in black marker pen. This piqued me and my friend's interest and we decided to stick the disk into our PC. A horrific electronic scream assaulted me and my friend's eardrums leaving us dazed. Now thoroughly spooped, I glanced at the computer screen and saw a notification at the top saying ".exe has finished installing".

Despite the two spooky omens I decided against my friend's better judgement to open ".exe" which I assumed was the game. Upon opening said file, a massive pentagram appeared on my computer screen made of hyper realistic blood which looked like it was literally coming out of the screen. Then another skeletal figure appeared next to me, except this one was super hyper realistic and popped out at me. It pinned me to the floor and said "BEWARE, BEWARE OF THIS GAME! THIS GAME IS SHIT AND YOU ARE A SHITLORD FOR BUYING IT, I COME FROM SATAN HIMSELF SO DON'T FUCK WITH ME!". This encounter was definitely real and it spooked my friend to tears. Except his tears looked red! My friend began to cry blood uncontrollably and took on a strange cadaverous appearance. He recited the skeleton's words in a strained voice as if he was possessed and a literal river of blood began to spray out of his nose. He slit his wrists with a ritual knife which literally came out of his arse, before drawing a pentagram on the floor out of his own blood. He chanted some strange alien language which sent shivers up my spine, I began to shake and shudder out of surprise which shocked my soul.

His body exploded into giblets and I cried and cried until I got bored and decided to try booting the game again. An error message came up except the usual red x was a pentagram instead. It mentioned something about "missing file dependencies: spook.avi and satan.exe". I guessed the file names were just a bad joke by the game's developers and I decided to install them. The game then booted into a spooky red menu. I clicked play and a picture of the game's characters with hyper realistic blood eyes and horrific injuries splashed onto the screen for exactly 0.0000666 nanoseconds before disappearing. Now thoroughly spooked I joined my first match and began to play. The game had a few odd looking pentagrams going about and the fatman had a skull for a head, but other than that the spookiest thing was how the game appeared to just be TF2, but shittier. I played for a bit before finally gaining enough exp to level up. Then I noticed something weird had happened, because I had leveled up 665 levels all the way to level 666.

Now thoroughly spooked out, I decided to give the game another toss. I started a new match and all seemed normal at first, until me and my team noticed that the enemy team were all called "Ure cursed lol" and had the clan tag "666". They were all fatmans with the skull for a head and instead of a minigun they instead had throwing ritual knifes with an amazingly op aimbot. My entire team eventually ragequit until I was on my own. They then turned on god mode and formed a ritual circle around me. They summoned what appeared to be Satan himself to my game and he began to speak, he said "It's a pleasure to meet you Unknown, my name is Satan now just lend yourself over and we can work this out". I replied with a flat no and he said "Lol I was joking anyway, you are now thoroughly fucked for playing this game and the only way to stop this curse before my greatest minion EVIL PATRIXXX comes to kill you is to stop playing this game". I replied stating the fact that the terms of the curse contract specifically stated that I would die if I stop playing and he replied with "Well yeah, that's the lulzy part lol gg rekt".

After several minutes, a tutorial video popped up on my screen titled "How 2 stop curses for dummies". I clicked on it and it took me to another video titled "da tutorialzzzzzzzzzz:Lost episude" however the spooky part was that the video was actually titled as "DA GRIFTERZ REAL ONE". I watched it and felt super mega suicidal for no apparent reason and killed myself. The last thing I saw was EVIL PATRIXXX burst into my home before shouting, "OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE I WAS GONNA GET A PROMOTION FOR KILLING YOU BUT BECAUSE YOU'RE A STUPID SELFISH SUICIDAL FUCK I'M NOW GONNA GET PUNISHED BY SATAN". In my dying moments a skeleton appeared beside my corpse, and in my dying dying moments he got a skeletal structure shaped like the word spook and rammed it up my arse.

The end.