The Lost Episode of BAD CREEPYPASTA

Uploader's note: The original story couldn't be found, not even via Wayback Machine. Transcribing this was slightly hard from its Britishisms, so pardon me for any inaccuracies. I don't know who's the original writer.



I'm a huge fan of MichaelLeroi on YouTube; particularly his Bad Creepypasta series. I loved the writing, I have every episode downloaded onto my computer as MP3, WAV, .FLAC and JPG. However, I may stop watching as I seemed to have uncovered an atrocious secret containing the behinds the scenes relationships with the readers. I believe with the utmost conviction throughout every individual fiber of my being that I’ve unearthed a subterfuge so atrociously diabolical that nobody else, but I could figure it out.

It started when I logged into YouTube to check Tobuscus’ channel for their videos. He’s my second-to-favorite YouTuber to MichaelLeroi. Again, he’s just such a brilliant writer. Anywhoozle, I saw that MichaelLeroi had uploaded a new video. My heart leapt; I clicked the video even though it had an odd title. It wasn’t Bad Creepypasta, or even Super Brit Bros; it was called “Fear Itself”. I was absolutely bamboozled. I mean, what kind of name for a MichaelLeroi video is “Fear Itself”? He makes creepypasta commentaries and Let’s Plays, not horror movies.

The video starts. It was actually a video this time, not the red curtains of Bad Creepypasta. It was Jacob and his friend Matt, and they were reading a creepypasta like normal, but they didn’t seem to be aware of the fact they were being recorded. They did the usual intro saying that Toby couldn’t be there because he’s gotten too tall to fit through the doorway. Matt laughed, and they continued the pasta. It was called “Jeff the Killer vs Squidward’s Suicide”, when all of a sudden there’s a loud slamming noise. It appears to be coming through the door. Jacob and Matt looked at the door when Toby busts in.

“Ahh! Do you want to be?”

“What?!”, says Jacob.

“Shut your bleedin’ mouth, you tossers!”, Toby says.

Jacob says “Oy, who pissed in your Golden Grahams?”

Toby then pulls out a treacle tart and throws it right at Jacob, saying “I’m fucking sick of being your second or third banana!”. The treacle tart smacks into Jacob’s shoulder (tentacle?) and a grizzly crack is heard. Matt reaches for a handful of Pringles while Jacob lies on the ground, gripping his shoulder (tentacle) with unbridled agony the likes of which have never been seen on this earth before. Toby pulled a longbow out of his pocket, he drew it and aimed at Matt, but then Matt throws a handful of dust into Toby’s face, blinding him. It was the Pringles. Toby grabbed for his face and then Matt rushed him; tackling him and sitting on his chest, effectively rendering him immobile.

“Jacob, call 999 or 919 or whatever the fuck we use for emergencies!”

Jacob grabs the phone with his good arm (tentacles) and begins to dial when a low rumbling is heard. Matt begins to shake then, all of a sudden, there’s a huge explosion of force from under him as if he was sitting on an airbag mechanism. He is launched into the air, his head smashing through the ceiling. Toby rises and punches Matt in the stomach so hard that he pukes toad-in-the-hole all over Jacob’s upstairs neighbors, who retaliate by turning their music up even higher. Toby then approaches Jacob, who asks, shaking:

“What—What are you?”

Toby raises a knife and starts to talk, when suddenly Big Ben begins to chime.

“It’s teatime!” Toby puts the knife down and he and Jacob pull Matt out of the ceiling and make tea. They sit down on Jacob’s couch and as they eat their tea, I could see grasshoppers in the clotted cream on their scones, and grasshoppers on the crumpets, even grasshoppers in the tea they were drinking. It must be some British thing.

Anyway, they finish their tea and get back into place; Matt sticking his head in the ceiling, and Jacob standing from Toby, holding a knife, who resumes his speech.

“I am… fear itself!”

‘OH GOD NO!”, Jacob yells.

“There is no God”, Toby says, raising the knife even higher. “There is only… FLESH!”

He swings the blade down, but Jacob moves out of the way, and the knife sticks in the pile of teddy bears behind him. Jacob stares at Toby, still unable to believe that one of his best friends could come at him with a knife. Toby turns to Jacob and smiles.

“You are a worthy adversary, mate”, he said. “I see that I’ll need to achieve my final form if I’m to finish this in time for EastEnders.”

“Oh, EastEnders is on today”, Jacob says. Toby begins to twirl as Jacob watches in horror. Toby twirls faster and faster until bits of flesh start to fly off of his body; some of it hitting the webcam and obscuring the lens. After 22 seconds, something stood there that was once Toby, but not now. It appeared to be a large monolith; orange with garbled markings. I heard a faint crinkling sound and saw two eyes open on the monolith. I heard it once again and a mouth opened, revealing two large fangs behind lips as red as blood. Then, from the back of the structure unfolded two great leathery wings, and Jacob just looked at the beast. Mouth agape, it speaks.

“Somebody… somewhere… is about to die.”

It then attacks Jacob, killing him in the most unspeakable way…

… with lasers.

Before killing Matt, just as unspeakably, when it is done killing, it floats over to the webcam which recorded over this, then clears his throat and speaks again.

“Hello there, and welcome to an extra bloody edition of Bad Creepypasta. Today I’m here with the usual wankers, Matt and Toby. It sounded just like Jacob. I can’t believe it! It then goes on to do a perfect impression of Matt, even replicating the shittiness of his mike. Then it goes on to do a perfect Toby, who I guess had been all along. Then, that is when it hit me:

In would be permanent.

Jacob and Matt were dead, and this Toby beast (Tobeast?) had stolen their identities to continue the show with Toby as the first banana. This is why Jacob has been getting ill/frustrated more often, so Toby could finish the stories as first banana. It all makes sense if you think about it. After I realized this, I went to take a piss. When I entered the bathroom, I screamed and pissed all down the fronts of my My Little Pony pajamas.

Sitting on my toilet… staring right at me… was… a… bloody… plush… Toffee Crisp… with its eyes missing.