Killfest Part 1: Trolls under the Table Chapter 1: Trolls under the Table

Have you ever wandered why when you drop food under the table it always disappared by something? Well I tell ya. There is TROLLS! TROLLS I TELL YOU! By the way, my name is Zackhary.

It was all started the day I dropped a whole slice of pizza under the table, but it somehow dissapared into thin air? I was confused, but even more so when I was in my bed at night. I herd little klaws klimmbing up my wall. About four hands, if you have ask me. Suddenly, they stopped climbing and fell. I heard screams, then the song MMM WHATCHA SAY started playing. I was horrified because I'm a coward that hides from flies. My mom called me to tell me that her cat entered the under the table and disappared. I was horrified- how could this happen to her?! She made her mistakes! GOT NOWHERE TO RUN! I was shivering and I saw a killer outside, but a car ran over him and I went to sleep happy. I only had six nightmares this tonight about the cat killer that got cat killed by a car kill. It probably didn't have anything to do with yesterday. Next morning I went to my neighbors and told them about the THING that got THINGED. They looked me weird, then laughed until they died. I shrugged and left, as I didn't care about them. Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus drove by, so I reached under the table to grab a rotten tomato and chuck it at them. That's how I got this scar. CAN YOU SEE IT? CAN YOU? I thought about Mario for the next day because Mario is red like a tomato. The next day I saw a weird garden gnome outsides. It had arms as long as Long Chips, but it looked like it had no legs. I went to it and it was decapitated when I when I reached it. Inside it, a phone was playing Rewind 2018. The phone exploded and the dead gnome died. At exactly 1AM I threw rotten food unter the table to see if it's there in the morning. As I went to sleep, I heard a bunch of rats in the walls yelling THIS IS SPARTA, but that's nothing unusual. The next morning I woke up. I brushed my teeth with the shower and washed myself with the toothbrush because I am stupid. Then I went see there was not rotten food under table but there was one of my toy figures that I drop my mistake. When I reach to take up the figure someting bit of my ring finger. I shrugged it off and went to drink some coffee, but when I looked at the wound I realized that a TROLL bit my finger off! A MOTHERHECKING TROLL! I looked on the internet for solutions and ate my coffee. Some said poison myght work, but I didn't think that my magic pills would kill them (no they aren't drugs, it's MENTOS). Then looked up what other poison there might are, but none looked like trollkillers- they only worked on orx. I then went to the hardware store, but while I was driving a TMNT turtle fell on my car and I escaped unharmed.It had Michael Bay's face, doors instead of shells, a human left hand and a hook right hand. It yelled out MANDOORHANDHOOKCARDOOR, then exploded, killing my car too. I saw Will Smith Genie on a bike, but he then flew up and ate himself. I stole his bike and used it to go to a hardware store, but ended up at Brad Pitt's house. He was also an expert troll hunter along with his partner, Springtarp, with his acid mold tongue. I hired them for 9001 dollars which I paid in McDonalds coupons and we went under the table to start a Statanic riutal. Brad Pitt poured rotten food on the ground, which Springtarp started licking. Trevor from GTA V oppened the dor to stop us, as his brain is a troll, but Dolph Lundgren and John Cena killed him. John CCena betrayed Dolph, then Dolph ripped him inside out. He came to the ritual along with a Russian man named Nikolai, a German man named Klaus and millions of others, including Gilgamesh and Gilgamesh. The protal was opened. We were all sucked in at once into the Troll World. Unfortunately Roblox John Doe was there! He pushed Springtarp into the HYPERREALISTIC GARBAGE GRINDERRRZZZ and Springtrap died shanked by ?, but not before Roblox Jane Doe and John Doe were ground up in the meat and died. Klaus grabbed a sniper rifle and shot at the palace! Their leaders were as following:

Relgious leader: Exdeath (Albino Troll)

Military leader: Patrick Starr (Pink Troll, only female of its species)

Culture leader:"Will Pitt" (Brad Pitt and Will Smith clones fused) (Hybrid between Troll and Human)

Peace negotination leader: Gravelord Nito Eatall (Undead Troll)

And the emperor is:

Emperor Jar Jar Binks (Ugly Troll on Drugs)

Mr Krabs saw Patrick Starr, which stole all his money, but he couldn't hit her, as she was a girl, so Pearl Krabs suicidebombed her. Will Pitt went up against Brad Pitt and died because of his Will Smith genes that gave him cancer. Nito Eatall ate so much that he wasn't a skelleton anymore- he was fat. Weird Al Yankovic started singing Fat and Amish Paradise at the same time, summoning Captain Amish, which made so much peace with Nito that they both died of boredom. Gilgamesh saw Exdeath and blew himself up to break his armor, but accidentally killed Exdeath too. Jar Jar summoned the orcs and they yelled LOK'TAR OGAR! A lot of people got killed by the orcs, including Jean Claude Van-Damme. Dolph was happy that he was the only action star on the battlefield, so he jumped on top of the leader of the orcs, breaking his organs. The orcs grabbed Dolph and killed him, but then realized that they killed the one person who could lead them, so they jumped in the grinderrrzzz. Then Jar-Jar called the Naruto Runners for the suicide attack. They did it, but Klaus sniped some of them off and then shot himself because Klaus is emo. The Naruto Runners killed Weird Al and Nikolai, but not before Nikolai killed more of them because they're weeaboos. The last remaining Naruto Runners killed themselfes because its a suicide attack. Shaquille O'Neal threw his basketball at Arnold Schwarzenegger, killing him, but it came straight back at him, killing Shaq too. Jar Jar then summoned his deadliest weapon: PONIES. Rainbow Dash charged at them, but Brad Pitt threw her in a pit. Pinkie Pie didn't know on whose side she was, so she baked herself and Applejack into an apple pie. Trolls riding dodos appeared and charged at the human forces, resulting in the reduction of both numbers. Suddenly, a portal opened. The SHINGER came out. He killed all armies except for me, Brad Pitt and Jar Jar Binks. He then killed Jar Jar Binks. Just when we thought we won, a hole opened. A voice yelled SHIA SURPRISE and actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf appeared and killed Brad Pitt by laceration. The Shinger and Shia LaBeouf started a legendary fight. I escaped through a portal. By the way, my name is still Zackhary. Everything is normal now except for me.

Which do you think won? The Shinger or Shia LaBeouf? The answer is here:

https://imgflip.com/i/3k6417