ZombiU: Cursed Edition

Alright, we know about ZombiU, right? No? To sum it up in poor grammar, Wii U title, survival horror, zombies, black guys, and more. I happened to go to this store and some guy gave me the game for free. &quot;But I don't have a Wii U&quot; I said. He gave me the premium free as well. I hooked up the Wii U, waited for the Day 1 update to install for 2 hours. Since time was flying by, I put the game in the Playstation 3 and there was a screen that says, &quot;ARE YOU THAT POOR?!? BUY A WII U TO PLAY THIS GAME!!!&quot; The update finished, and I can finally play the Wii U game on the Wii U instead of breaking the disc. When the game was done loading, THE TITLE SCREEN WASN'T FILLED WITH BLOOD!!! IT WAS FILLED WITH FLOWERS!!!! Well, I guess Easter IS coming up so... Pedophile Easter Rabbit zombies? Nah. Too cliche. Anyways, the game started up, and I had no weapons. I HAD A CHOCOLATE BAR WITH PEANUT BUTTER ON TOP!!! I was asked nicely to get the kid his Pokemon cards back from a bully. TOO SCARY FOR ME!!! A zombie slowly approached me and he was giving me a teddy bear and cookies with warm milk. The zombie also was singing &quot;Happy Birthday&quot; to me. In fact, all of the zombies have been doing that. Once I attacked that zombie, it didn't attack me, it said, &quot;OUCH! That hurt, I'm telling mummy on you, big meanie!!&quot; Wow. Those words are pretty haunting. That's not the worst part, tough. ONE OF THE ZOMBIES WAS RONALD MCDONALD AND HE WASN'T EVEN A ZOMBIE!! HE JUST STARED AT ME AND SAID, &quot;You should smile more! And maybe smoke alot of WEED, MOTHAHFUGGAH!!!&quot; I then hit the &quot;zombie&quot; and then, my 2nd grade teacher caught me in the act and said, &quot;Nuh uh uuh. You know hitting someone is very wrong. Detention for the whole recess.&quot; That's when I then saw a confetti PowerPoint background, with big, percing black font that said the most haunting words I can't even imagine. It said...

&quot;Make sure you brush your teeth every night you go to bed!&quot;

I then took the game out of the Wii U, and broke the game disc. Then, I took a good look at the game cover and, oh lord. I can't even explain what it looked like. So, that's why I'm showing you this picture I scanned onto the computer.