A horrific story about two ducks and a glass of beer (Creepypasta)

It was a peaceful mornin' in the Irish fields. I was watering the flowers in me garden when I came across two ducks sippin' on me beer. I was furious. I grabbed me gun and shat the two ducks onto the ground, both screaming for dear mercy.

"You san of a batch!" the ducks exclaimed, "You shot me ye son of a batch!"

I came across a shocking conclusion, those weren't normal ducks...those were Irish ducks. So I grabbed those son's of batches and shoved them into the backseat of me car and headed by a nearby saloon called "Irishman's Beer", and bought them son's of batches sum beer. ''Maybe I can have dem son's of batches as sporting friends, aye? ''I thought to myself while sippin' on dat fine o'Irish beer.

"Want sum beer, ya fucks?" I yelled to the ducks, "Well...It's mine ya motherfackas! Stay away from me beer or else you'll get shot again, and it's not gonna be warning shoots, too. I mean it!"

"Fine, motherfacka", the duck said, "You can keep the beer, I'm taking yo girl."

So, I decided to let the ducks have me girl, she was a dunce anyway. Though, I miss her sometimes; she'll never replace me beer!