Jeff Vs Freddy Krueger: The Real Story

Jeff traveled to Elm Street, trying to find more victims for his pleasure and delight. Walking down the fresh rained road, with his footsteps causing small splashes in the puddles, he began to sing a song,

Go to sleek

Go to sleek

Go to sleek, krecious wictin

Nighty night

Nighty night

Kray to God the hellhounds don’t dite

He saw three little girls jump roping and his eyes lit up with fire as he slowly began to stalk towards them with his knife drawn. But he stopped in mid step as if he were frozen in time. He listened carefully to a song that they sung that he knows all too well.

1, 2, Freddy’s coming for you

3, 4, better lock your door

5, 6, better grab your crucifix

7, 8, better stay up late

9, 10… never sleep again

Just then, a figure appeared out of Jeff’s shadow. A low, unholy laugh escaped the figure’s lips. Jeff turned around, with his everlasting smile still on his face. But deep down, the figure knows he is not amused.

“So, you’re the famous Jeff the Killer, huh?”, the figure says with a snarl.

“And you nust de the inhamous Hreddy Krueger. Not a han and, nost intortantly, not anused dye your work.”

“What is that supposed to mean, you little faggot?”, Freddy barks.

“Well, hirst og all, you’re all durnt and hugly as Hell and, two, you got your ass kicked gy segeral girls and a little goy. You’re sukkosed to ge a Drean DENON, not a Drean HAIRY!”, Jeff laughs.

Freddy began to walk slowly around Jeff, who remained unfazed by the dream killer. After about 5 minutes, Freddy was the first to speak up.

“So how about a little wager, huh? Let’s see who dies first.”

“Dee ny guest, sunshine. How agout you nake the hirst noove, gut clease try not to die quickly; I want to sagor this kill, hor it will ge my greatest eger to ge agle to helk the wery Drean Denon that killed so nany keokle go to… SLEEK”, Jeff cackled as he drew his knife.

Freddy lunged at Jeff, who dodged his attack with ease and kicked Freddy in the ass, which caused him to fall onto his face and tumble. Freddy got up and dusted himself. An evil sneer made itself present on Freddy’s face.

“Time to take this to my home”, Freddy laughed as they were transported to the Dream World.

“Oh, this world seens wonderhul; so dark, so dank and hull o’ deskair and kain. I think I shall take ower this klace once I kill you, Hreddy. Don’t worry, I will take good care o’ it.”

“No fucking way you will ever beat me in my own HOME!!!”, Freddy said, stabbing Jeff in the back. Blood gushed from Jeff’s stomach as he looked down and saw four blades from Freddy’s claws coming out, which caused him to only laugh and look back at Freddy, who then had a worried look on his face.

“Was that your dest trick? Igh not, then clease try harder. I can take knore”, Jeff laughs maniacally.

“W… What the fuck are you?!”, Freddy screamed as he pulled his claw from Jeff and tried to stab him again. But Jeff turned around and stared deep into the eyes of Freddy. All Freddy could see in Jeff’s black eyes were pain… and death.

“See Hreddy, the dihherence getween nee and you is, you’re a Drean Denon… I an, I guess you can call nee the dewil’s hagorite denon. Two, I don’t hear you and, hree, you are just a GAD drean. Nee? I an the hucking glack klague. Shit, I AN THE ACOCKALYKS! So clease lay down… AND GO THE HUCK TO SLEEK!”

Jeff laughed as he launched himself at Freddy. With a single plunge into the mouth and back of the throat, Jeff vanquished his opponent, who fell dead onto his back. Jeff pulled the knife out of the struck down dream killer and raised his weapon in the air in triumph, laughing.

“Now that I killed Hreddy once and hor all, I can take ower his kosition and this world and I will start a new reign o’ terror o’ larger krokortions than even I could eger hathom!”

He cackled like the maniac he is and looked down to his abdomen, which completely healed after the jabbing he took.

“Now, where do I gegin?”

Walking away from the motionless Freddy, Jeff saw a dark doorway that leads to the interior of a Dream World temple. The doorway was also accompanied by statues of three serpentine, skeletal faced creatures known as the Dream Demons.

“The Drean Denons could wery well choose NEE as their next agent instead. Naydee I will even decone their DOSS! Agter that, I will dee UNSTOKKAGLE!”

Full of hype and ambition, Jeff the Killer slowly walked up to the doorway and, even more slowly, creeped his way through it, waiting to meet and have a talk with these entities. As soon as Jeff was fully encapsulated by the temple’s darkness…

… A FREDDY KRUEGER POPPED OUT!

Jeff was hurled backwards, out the doorway, landing on his gluteus maximus and tumbling until he was face down on the floor. Jeff got up and dusted himself. Freddy spoke with a sadistic smile:

“Did you really think you could kill me, you little shit?”

Out of sheer disbelief, Jeff looked at Freddy, and then behind him to see that Freddy’s motionless body was not there anymore.

Jeff exclaimed, “That is inkossigle! I clearly klunged ny knigh right into your head and watched you die! You were totally intimidated, nore so when we stared each other in the eyes… into ny eyes, you saw nothing gut kure, unadulterated, kain and hear, FOR I AN THE WERY ENDODINENT OF DEATH AND ALL THAT IS HORRIDLE!”

“Such delusions of grandeur. When we stared each other in the eyes, I magically injected into your numb skull the sensation that you were paralyzing me with fear.” It was then that Jeff the Killer felt utmost anger; such anger that he had never felt in his entire life. His meltdown was so massive that even his Glasgow grin had transformed into a Glasgow frown.

“Hee hee, not a permanent smile anymore, isn’t it Jeffery?”, mocked Freddy.

“NO! I WILL NOT KERNIT THIS! I WILL NAKE YOU GO TO HUCKING SLEEK IGH IT’S THE LAST THING HUCKING DO!”

Freddy then grinned even harder and said, “Before you do, allow me to tell you something you don’t know.”

“Nake it quick, you ugly gurn wictin!”

Freddy pointed his fish knife glove at the other burn victim and said:

“Omae wa mou shindeiru.”

“I only skeak Anerican, notherhucker!.. wait… nani?”

Soon, Jeff felt a tingling sensation in his stomach. He looked down and saw marks that were where Freddy’s blades went. The marks soon became wounds, which slowly opened. Jeff grabbed his back and stomach, hunching over in pain, which only got worse as the wounds were tearing open more. Then, Jeff felt great pain in his bones… quite literally.

“REEEEEEEEEE!! WHAT IS HACKENING TO NEE!?”

Jeff was on his knees and even more curved forward, with his hands clenching onto his wounds. A fleshy bulge was present on the back wound, pulsating faster and bigger every time. Jeff the Killer unleased a final, massive scream of agony as his body looked like it was slightly shrinking, and the bulge was huge and looking like it was about to burst. Within twelve hundred centiseconds later…

… JEFF THE KILLER’S SKELETON POPPED OUT!

Apart from the bones, all else that was left was a lifeless, blobby, snow white husk made only of skin, blood, muscles, organs and remnants of bleach and vodka.

Epilogue
my name is jeffry the killer. im now a skeleton and wrote this whole story. im trapped in the dream world where fredy kruger made me his bitch and life sucks down here. how am i writing and comunicating to you? i happed to find a random laptop lying around here. probly belongs to some other poor basterd who freddy fuckd up. but thats beside the point. point is i was never ready for fredy and chances are that YOUR NEXT anytime soon just like the dream killer picked me.

whatever you do… DON’T… GO… TO SLEEP

Credited to Horned-Prosciutto