Godzilla NES Kreepypazta/Chaptur 1: Earth N' Marz

When I was littel tha 2 thangs I loved most up in tha game was Godzilla n' NES games. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So naturally when Godzilla: Monsta of Monstas came out, dat shiznit was like a thugged-out trip come true. Well, almost. To sum it up, most of tha game revolved round gettin all up in (very repetitive) outer space levels while smashin up tanks n' jets, n' then fightin against Godzilla’s monsta enemies. Overall dat shiznit was pretty mediocre yo, but back then I didn’t care. When I gots tha game a present fo' mah 10th birthday, I played it night n' day, as much as I could.

Unfortunately I had traded tha game fo' Amagong a year later, much ta mah regret when I found up what tha fuck dat game was like. Recently, I had looted a freshly smoked up NES system, n' all up in a shitload of hustlin n' askin around, mah playa Bizzley finally managed ta find a copy of Godzilla: Monsta of Monsters.

I was pumped ta play mah straight-up childhood game. Well shiiiit, it never even occurred ta me ta ask where Bizzley found it yo. Dude also gave me some other game like Legend of Zelda, Bomberman n' some wack thang called Action 52 yo, but Godzilla had ta come first.

So I started tha game, n' tha nostalgia came floodin back like a tidal wave. Godzilla’s 8 bizzle cold lil' woo wop flooded proudly all up in tha speakers n' I was soon grinnin like a idiot.

Some playas laugh all up in mah grill fo' playin such outdated games,but I’ve never had as much enjoyment fo' any game other than dem on tha NES. Those 8 bizzle game take me back ta when thangs was much mo`…gangsta. But afta what’s happened wit dis game I don’t have dat vibe no mo'.

I had forgotten how tha fuck quick tha funk of smashin thangs as Godzilla wore off up in tha scrollin levels. Da game bombardz you wit bullets n' thangs crashin tha fuck into you from every last muthafuckin direction, n' you’re too big-ass ta avoid most of em fo' realz. Although mah excitement had worn down some, it wasn’t long at all before I gots ta mah first boss battle.

My fuckin first opponent was Gezora, a obscure squid kaiju whoz ass had never been up in a Godzilla porno.

Da most buggin thang bout fightin Gezora is dat he always backs you tha fuck into tha corna n' starts smackin you wit his pimp cane, n' you’re unable ta move until he gets off yo ass. This move don’t do any damage yo, but it can stall you until tha timer runs up n' you gotta start tha fight over, n' he regains some health.

It’s as buggin as it soundz fo' realz. And of course, da ruffneck done did it when I fought his muthafuckin ass. Only fo' some reason dis caused tha game ta glitch up, cuz once da perved-out muthafucka started smackin me, he never stopped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da timer is supposed ta end tha fight up in bout 40 secondz yo, but dis lasted fo' nearly 5 minutes fo' realz. After a while tha graphics started ta mess up, wit lil red blockz all over tha place.

Which was weird yo, but I just took tha game out, blew on it, n' then started again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I wasn’t bout ta let a lil glitch stand up in mah way. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So I started again n' again n' again n' dis time defeated Gezora n' tha level’s other boss monster, Moguera without any problems.

So then dat shiznit was onto tha next hood: Mars. I browsed round tha board n' found suttin' unexpected: where Varan’s piece should have been, there was instead a piece representin Titanosaurus. There was only 10 kaiju up in tha game, n' Titanosaurus was not one of em. Or so I thought. Perhaps Titanosaurus was originally intended ta be up in tha game but was swapped up wit Varan fo' some reason?

So I fuckin started ta feel straight-up buckwild - not only was I playin mah straight-up game yo, but I was playin a prototype of some sort wit a freshly smoked up monsta playa! Needless ta say, I ran all up in tha levels as fast as I could ta peep Titanosaurus up in action. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis!

Fought Gezora again n' again n' again n' beat his ass before his schmoooove ass could do his cold-ass tentacle smack yo, but dis time tha glitch started goin down when da ruffneck died. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Gezora’s sprite didn’t sink ta tha bottom yo, but instead seemed ta be devoured by tha glitch n his fuckin eye started randomly spawnin all over tha screen.

I know now dat these glitches wit Gezora was mah first warnin sign dat suttin' was straight-up wack wit dis game. But foolishly I ignored it, n' proceeded on ta fight Moguera, whoz ass dis time had a glitch of his own:

Moguera was twice tha size da perved-out muthafucka should have been, which startled mah dirty ass yo. was also considerably harder ta beat than usual(which is ta say, not at all) yo, but soon I had defeated his ass also, n' when da ruffneck took a dirt nap yet another glitch happened:

This happened mad fast so I was luckeh ta git a screencap of it at all yo, but what tha fuck happened was dat tha Giant Moguera sprite started ta "shatter" n' "melt" fo' realz. Also if you peep tha garbled text all up in tha right corner of tha screen, you’ll notice what tha fuck appears ta be a bird up in a cage…I still have no clue what tha fuck dat meant.

At dis point I was bout ta fight Titanosaurus, n' I was worried as ta what tha fuck kind of glitches would happen dis time. But ta mah surprise, Titanosaurus looked just fine, although all of tha game’s bipedal monstas was tha same height, Titanosaurus was a lil' bit talla n' shit. But since Titanosaurus straight-up was talla than Godzilla up in his wild lil' film debut, I thought dis was kinda cool.

After a straight-up funk fight wit tha monsta dat wasn’t supposed ta be up in tha game, I took over tha enemy base n' proceeded not ta Jupiter like normal yo, but instead ta…"Pathos": Pathos-1