King Koopa's Kool Kartoons lost episode

One day I was at a garage sale at my neighbor's convience store's website. I noticed a tarnished VHS tape, labeled in some sort of Korean. It roughly translated to &quot;God my penis fucking hurts,&quot; but it was clearly broken English, so I translated it to &quot;King Koopa's Kool Kartoons: Lost Episode. Property of Rareware.&quot; I went to the old man running the sale, and asked how much it costed. He said, &quot;It's free. It used to belong to some kid who used to live here, but he moved away. Also, I am a large fan of Blood on the Dance Floor.&quot;Â

&quot;That is completely relevant to the situation and my life is now further enhanced due to my knowledge of this,&quot; I replied.

I went home and put the tape into my blu-ray. Somehow, this VHS tape wasn't working in my blu-ray. Strange, isn't it? But I strangely decided to put it into my VCR, and it worked. I was already starting to get a little weirded out.Â

Soon the video began. It was a little static-y, but nothing to worry about. The familiar theme song you all love and remember began to play. Only, with one small difference. King Koopa had hyper-realistic eyes, as if he was being played by a human actor. But he couldn't have possibly been. Everyone knows all the events of the Super Mario series really took place! Â

Soon, the first act began. I turned off my copy of Sonic 3 because I remembered that I was watching something. At this point, the static was out of control and a low droning noise was the only audible sound. There was a split second shot of King Koopa and PATRIXXX beating up a little kid. Then the tape ended.

I couldn't believe it. This had to be some kind of cruel joke! Who dare make a mockery of the best show since Who's The Boss?

Then I woke up and Happy Appy killed me.

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