The Bean Demons of Warsaw, Poland

So, this is a story about SCP 123,249,899.919, also known as the Bean Demons of Warsaw, Poland. They have been terrorizing the city and its inhabitants ever since it was built in roughly 1300 C.E. Ask someone from Warsaw, and they will attest to it by looking at you like you are absolutely insane and tell you to walk away before they call the cops. But that’s just because the Bean Demons don’t want you to know about them, so they will possess the person you ask every time their existence is mentioned in a conversation! But they do exist! And now I will write a story about them so the truth may be known!

 

The Bean Demons of Warsaw, Poland usually take the form of cans of Bush’s Baked Beans with eyes that look like they were cg-ed with the Unity engine. I’m only kidding of course! Of course you know for a FACT that their eyes are hyper-realistic! But their eyes constantly bleed with Pepsi. Yes, HoodoHoodlum’s Revenge, it CAN be Pepsi for once! They also have the legs of a spider, the arms of Darth Maul, and the mouth of Slender Man… oh wait, he doesn’t have a mouth? Damn it. Okay, the Bean Demons don’t have mouths! And they must scream! Actually, they don’t have much of a NEED to scream, they simply WANT to scream. Anyways, back to the story.

 

The Bean Demons of Warsaw, Poland often spread their terror from the shadows, preferably the ones cast by Warsaw’s McDonald’s. While underneath the shade cast by the ultimate source of diabetes, the Bean Demons are 11 17/202 times more powerful! While in this state, they become completely invisible and impossible to touch or detect in any way, almost as if they weren’t real. BUT THEY ARE! But invisibility isn’t their only power! They actually hold Warsaw, Poland in their grasp, and rule it with an iron fist! The people constantly live under constant mind-control, and all the city’s officials and government are actually Bean Demons in disguise!

 

The Bean Demons of Warsaw, Poland are capable of far worse, however, and they employ these methods as often as they do their traditional methods. Say, for example, a citizen of Warsaw tries to escape the hivemind enforced by the Bean Demons. If they attempt to do so, the Beans will play Baby Shark in their heads for so long that they die! See, the citizens of Warsaw would actually be completely immortal if it wasn’t for the Bean Demons of Warsaw, Poland! THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERY DEATH IN THAT CITY!

So, you may be wondering why I am telling you this. Well, I know many, many more secrets besides the existence of the Bean Demons of Warsaw, Poland. See, it is said that there is a prophecy that the Bean Demons will leave Warsaw and conquer the rest of the world whenever some loser posts a story on the Lolpasta wiki where every sentence, except the first and last, begins with “The Bean Demons of Warsaw, Poland”. I post this here as a warning; whatever you do, DON’T write a story where that is the case. Otherwise, our souls will all be consumed like frozen peas. Prevent the Bean Demons from reigning supreme, or all of humanity will live to regret it.

Written by H1V3M1ND 3V0LV3D