RYU IS ALSO EVIL!

So far, I have destroyed 2 Xbox Ones to prevent two separate creepypasta games from spreading. But it must be known that Super Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition is PURE UNDILUTED EVIL! It was a game I used to enjoy, but then I saw something so terrifying that it killed me. Literally. I am in Evil Ryu’s hell dimension, being tormented constantly by having to listen to Falling in Reverse’s cover of Gangsta’s Paradise 24/7! But I think I am getting ahead of myself. Time to warn you about the evil of the game! Before I become a devil’s minion or something. I think that’s what happens to you in Hell. It’s what Minecraft: Satan Edition told me.

 

So anyways, Super Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition used to be one of my favorite games. My particular favorite character was Dan Hibiki. I related to every win quote he said (and still do; I need to pay my bills. Please support my GoFundMe page). Anyways, I lost every single match I ever played until I went through hard mode on the easiest setting with my second favorite character, El Fuerte. But this time, there was something off. The batteries of my Xbox controller got empty, and I had to change them. It was so scary (translation: BE SCARED). THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE ABSOLUTE TRAVESTIES OF SUPREME TERROR THAT AWAIT THOSE UNFORTUNATE ENOUGH TO DECIDE TO READ THE REST OF THIS PASTA.

 

So basically, I made it through the arcade mode by spamming the focus attack over and over again, getting mostly perfects because of my totally fair and legit strategy. I even beat this ridiculous looking silver stretchy dude who has a yin and yang in his stomach by button mashing to hell and back and somehow pulling of my super combo! But that is when something absolutely mortifying happened. A black slash went across the screen after I did my win quote and the screen faded out. This was so terrifying that I threw a 20 pound weight at the TV, but it missed. I then decided to continue on, mainly because I didn’t feel like getting up from the couch to retrieve the weight I threw. Little did I know what arcane horror was lurking around the corner.

 

Ryu suddenly burst through the floor of the Deserted Temple stage, the sky pitch black. But something was off. He was sheathed in an aura of blood red flames, his hyper-realistic eyes also glowing blood red, his face morphed into a sadistic scowl of absolute fury and anger! He looked towards the screen, pure malice burning in his optic orbs, yelling “Step forward. We shall see who will dine on whose bones!” I then realized that, much like the Dragonborn, Ryu was also a monster of pure undiluted evil incarnate! A sadistic, murderous monstrosity of absolute malevolent malevolence!

 

I was too terrified to even manipulate the joysticks and buttons of my controller. But I wish I did, as he flew towards my character and the screen turned black, with only hit sparks being shown. I am afraid that if I were to look behind the blackness, I would die a most horrifying death. He defeated me with his super combo, but the background was purple instead of orange, and the announcer didn’t say K.O. It was so scary that I actually wanted to gouge out my eyes. His win quote was “Your speed and unpredictability are nothing compared to this fist.”, but by that time I had already grabbed my chainsaw and hacked the Xbox into a million billion pieces. I was then safe and happy, but the images will never leave my mind, and then they will haunt me forever. I sword I would never buy an Xbox again.

But then I forgot all about the incident and bought an Xbox from eBay.

Written by H1V3M1ND 3V0LV3D.