It Will Do You

16 December 1999 I don't remember what day it was going to be tomorrow. I just know that I have to go into the room for some reason. If anyone finds this journal I'm

Dead Gabriel Anderson missing since 1998

14 August 2005 Oh Hayate! Oh Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayate! Hayateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Kasumi got it.

Journal Entry #333535743268 12 April 1284 I just made it to Hudson. I can't wait to finish my other castle.

Journal Entry #2 Dear mother of all it did everybody! Everybody I tell you! It had gigantic ankles and a scrotum on its head but it has no tip because it was circumcised.

El Diabolo died due to getting done.

30 June 1669 I saw something when I went into the Headmasters Office! I went to investigate and I heard a very sexy moan I never heard before. It sent chills up my spine just thinking about them. It jumped me next and gave me the best head I ever had. The pleasure was amazing in ways I had never imagined. I ran to the nearest pub in Mexico. I know I can't make it for much longer but I'm going to try and tell everybody what I just encountered. I call it the Dick Head.

Dillan died from getting his balls busted.

6 June 666 6:66:66.6666666666666 AM Something awful happened as the El Diabolo came in to port. As soon as the ship unloaded, everybody was knocked out after having too much sex. I saw something erect itself off the ship, something I saw in Florida. I must be horny. I should go masturbate.

Peter Johnson Jr. missing since he went to get the right lotion for his private time.

31 March 2014 1:50 at 32.8401746204 seconds (I'm a video editor, don't judge me)

It sure is nice to have this journal that I have a chance to write in for some oddly explained reason that doesn't even make a lot of sense. I sent that game to Zack exactly 94615485.77765538585858585851847444444444444444937153959173957164950681649502749572514859205719358263301847 seconds ago and now I don't have to worry about it anymore. It is important because I have to make sure that someone can destroy it so I can avoid thinking about playing it and thinking about not playing it. Shit, I'm still thinking about not playing it aren't I? I know the solution! I should go jerk off to my Lady Gaga poster.

Legend says that Jack is still jacking to this day. Why there is no mention of the Dick Head here is undetermined and probably completely pointless fanservice.

15 December 1999 I'm going to ejaculate today, I'm going to shove this lovely dildo up my ass. If you are reading this, tell Belle I came out of the closet.

Gabriel Anderson ejaculated.

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I don't know what to make of this. Must be some important code or shit.

20 September 2020 All of the men who came were in their 80s and 90s so I know I'm going to get done. Oh take meeeee massssterrrrr!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! You dick.

Ace came from?

Year 80,085 Month 9,001 Week 2,012 Day 911 Hour 666 Minute 123 Second 69 Millisecond 42 Microsecond 13 Nanosecond 13 Picosecond 3.14

I can't believe it took so long to happen. It all came so fast. I was in the room fighting the dicks until the walls fell in. I said that I had to fight those dicks but then Kernel Cena told me I was a dick. Then I got hard.

Alan still needs to have his frustration relieved.

23 March 61,000,009 B.C. 5:16:51 A.M.

Jugga take break from raptor and squirrel. Jugga like putting speak in funny book thing. Jugga not know how Jugga know what book is or why Jugga speak in third person, Jugga just told to be on spit end. Now Jugga see little thing come out. Look bigger but smaller version of raptor and squirrel. Jugga call it Dick Head. Bigger than raptor and squirrel ever were. Jugga know it probably not morally ethical, but it several million years before ten commandments coming so why not?

Tremble with fear because it begins here. Who knows what happened to Jugga? She's a literal fossil at this point. Do you expect me to know about it? I'm a journal writer not an archaeologist. If I'm supposed to be the one who is filling out some compelling reasons for why all of this sexual imagery is going on, I dont have what it takes.

6 September 69 That's what

I think this is a Lindsay Lohan quote when she went to Chile.