The evil dog of the evil house of the evil intentions that can talk evil things that not even the most evil person could think about

'''The evil dog of the evil house of the evil intentions that can talk evil things that not even the most evil person could think about '''

Hello diary. I'm writing here because i'm a little pussy that can't talk about my problem with others. Oh, and also beacause i'm going to die in 1 minute after what happened. But let me tell you what caused this. I had a friend named timmy that told me about a house in this same street that was full of demons, mummies, ghosts, ax-crazy assassins, cannibals, skeletons that can pop out of nothing and yada yada.

Because i'm retarded and also because i don't have anything better to do with my life, i decided to explore that house, alone and while it's night. because every horror character does that without question. So, i went to the scary house, only armed with a shotgun that i found on the street and a sword that my grandpa gave me before dying. He said that he slashed his own dick with it.

I entered the house with all my dignity, kicking the door, without even thinking that would atract some monster. The first floor was a mess, full of papers and a smell of dog shit on the floor. There was so much shit i got my leg stuck in one of then. While i tried to scrap the poop out of my foot, a very scary ghost appeared in front of me and said: Excuse me sir, what hour is it?

After he said that, i run screaming like a little girl to the top floor of the house, and found a old cooler in front of me. I opened it and found...water! Yes! a cup full of fresh, pure and delicious water! Man, how many years it was since i drank some water? Oh, wait, i never drank water in my life. After this realization, i decided to continue my exploration.

But it was on the next room that i found the worst thing yet. It was a dog. Not a normal dog, but a black and red one, with more teeth than that shark from finding nemo. He turned to me, saying: Can't a dog piss in privacy? Now you are going to die!

With those words flashing in my mind i took my shotgun out and shotted on that fucker face. Ten times, to be exact. He didn't even move while i gunned him down, After shootin him so much, i noticed the only thing that was in front of me was a pool of blood. I jumped of happines on my victory. I even got 10 XP for defeating him! I was so happy i didn't notice the windom in front of, causing me to smash my face into it and falling to the first floor of the house. Ouch.

When i waked up, I was on a junkyard, my face bleeding from that fucking fall. I have a impression i got here from a garbage man that thought i was a bunch of garbage in front of the house. Now, please, listen to me: This history is 100% real. Please, never go to a abandoned house and jump out of it, or you're gonna get screwed. Now, i think i will lie here while i wait for my death. Man, can't they bring a bed for me? this scrap is hurting my ass...