It's Only Ketchup

Eat the hamburger.

What're you saying about that red stuff I added on?

I'm telling you, it's only ketchup! It's not blood! It isn't anything other than perfectly harmless ketchup. Oh, about the metallic smell of the ketchup? It's because it's full of healthy iron.

No, I don't know where your bae went. Tell them they're unqualified idiots because they found my fingerprints on her body. WHAT DID I TELL YOU?! I DIDN'T DRAIN HER OF BLOOD!

I'm very sorry, but no sane man thinks that's not ketchup.

I don't care if your friend on Roblox was found dead with no blood in his body. One thing. I'M. NOT. A FUCKING MURDERER. Eat it.

Oh, you've eaten it. Guess you've got your intake.

Come here. Let me show you into my spoopy basement of dreams.

...

...

Oh, I definitely haven't the slightest idea why that man in the suit over there has no face.

There's been news reports about many people in your town being drained of blood, but I implore you, IT ISN'T ME.

It's them.

Meet Herobrine, Jeff the Killer, Laughing Jack, Smiledog, Slenderman, Sonic, Spongebob and The Rake.

My greatest friends, they'll be happy to be acquainted with you.

Oh, about the ketchup...

I was lying when I said I didn't do these murders.

You're gonna be a fine new victim, my friend.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!