Persona 4: Pissy Wissy Deduction

In all seriousness, It pains me to talk about these events.

But fuck it, I'm a masochistic wiener lord so I can do whatever I want, mom can't stop me.

I was only nine years old, I loved Persona so much and I prayed to it every night, my MegaTen Elitist dad walks in and calls me a slur. I can't handle the remorse and start to cry out of my dick after stroking my eyes.

Suddenly, a copy of Persona 4 gets thrown threw my window, it's also taped to the decapitated head of my next door neighbor, Hugh Jass. But fuck him, I just wanted to play my beloved video game, I put it into my Wii, picked up the Xbox 420 controller and clenched the toy around my asshole, ready to play.

When I started it up, instead of playing the normal intro, it was playing Fuck Tha Police while showing the image of a hyper realistic Teddie sitting in a corner and playing rock paper scissors on his crotch.

After exactly 133.7 seconds of that, I was booted up to the menu where the options Play, Options and the third option was a Lenny face, but distorted so I didn't know what it was. I picked the third one and it showed a clip of a girl being pushed down the stairs, her body by the end was mangled and lifeless, a man in a blue shirt walks up to her and says "I warned you about stairs, I told you dawg".

It then sent me back to the menu, where I picked play. For the most part, it played like normal Persona 4, until I got to the social links. I could seduce Yosuke with my charm, this was the best edition of P4 ever created. I could finally live out my erotic butt fantasies in a video game because that's totally not weird or anything I swear.

I broke the mountains back with him and also we did it. You know. IT. IN THE BUTT.

Afterwards I was forced into a hooker ring where it played like a shitty Dancing All Night, but worse. 9/11 4/20 Best Game in years, savior of anime.

This was indeed crucial to the plot, as I had to get Yu's sexiness stat all the way to "Master of the Horny" in order to bang the dog from Persona 3 using the dildo crossing mechanics of the Sega Genesis. This was the only way to unlock the Satan 666 door to MegaHellHellSatanWorld where I could finally fight Goku in the ring of Assholes, my love holes tingled at the idea and I went to the local ATM to cash in my sexiness.

Once I began the fight, I spammed the shit out of Goku using only Megidolaon and strength boosting moves, because I'm a pro who didn't play on DSP dickficulty, that would be stupid, cunt me.

Then my PS3 got a red ring of dong, but it didn't turn off. I could still play it without any inhibition, my fapping spree could not be containted by the factor of this simple video game. I had to finish inside.

I eventually managed to climb the infinite staircase using the magic Dildo of LodedCunt town, because this game is like every other RPG or some shit. What lied at the top was the most terrifying thing in the world, even my butthairs were quivering and shivering and shit.

It was...

My dead ghost mom played by Billy Cosbo, famous actor of the 420's, I shit myself through the roof.

Literally.

But I continued to play, not afraid anymore, I was to beat this cunt scrub of a cock fucking scrutiny bitch.

At this point, I was transported into the game using magical ghost technology that made it possible for a human to override the Nuclear Throne and consume a Succubus to become one with Vidya Games.

I easily overpowered my opponent, and as I defeated them, I let out my last battle cry.

"FUCK YOU KEVIN ROBINSON FROM SCHOOL STOP SHOWING EVRYBODY MY FUCKING DEVIANTART PAGE YOU FUCKING PEACE OF SHIT!!!"

With that, the universe exploded in an orgasm of blood and shit or whatever, and I was sent back to my world.

I can't really take it anymoe, my adventures have given me nothing but shit, bad soda mixers and enough bald spots to burn a hole in some fucking emo shit kid.

Everyone, goodbye.