Just Asking Questions

Say, did you rape my dog to death last weekend? Hey, don't look at me like that! I'm just asking questions!

Of COURSE it's not a rhetorical trick! I'm just asking questions!

What? You say you were in your house all weekend? You can't DISPROVE that you snuck out and went all the way to Seattle from Baltimore to rape my dog! What? You say you don't have a car and couldn't afford airfare at the time? Uh...maybe you took a bus or something. What? You say your neighbor can attest that you were indeed indoors all weekend? HE'S LYING! You say your home security system shows you were home all weekend too? That...uh, could have been faked! I KNOW you raped my dog to death! IT HAS TO BE TRUE BECAUSE I SAID SO!

What? You say you've never been to Seattle in your life until today? Ha, saying you didn't go to Seattle totally means you did! You're being defensive! YOU CAN'T DISPROVE IT! I WIN! LOGIC BE DAMNED!


 * BARK BARK* quiet, Rex. No, my dog isn't behind me, alive and well. You totally raped him to death! I just KNOW it!

WHAT? You're calling ME a liar? Just for that, I'll go over to your house and rape YOUR dog to death, wreck your house with a sledgehammer, and kill your family! Yes, it's totally justified! After all, you may or may not have raped my dog to death, and I'm absolutely sure you did and I'm trying to get a false confession from you!

Wait, why are you calling the cops? I'M JUST ASKING QUESTIONS!

Written by Furbearingbrick

NOTE: This is a satire of a serial page-blanker who's been accusing me of vandalizing a wiki I never even heard of, without presenting one shred of evidence for this. His "logic", sadly, isn't too far removed from the one used in this metaphor.