Geoffrey the Assasin

GEOFFREY THE ASSASIN

Somewhere.jpgUNNECESARY PROLOGUE
Excerpt from a local Newspaper:

WEIRD STUPID ASSHOLE IS STILL ALIVE

After weeks of people dying, the stupid asshole killer is still alive. No fucking evidence has been found, but a little dude has survived to the asshole's attacks and the little dude will tell the story.

"Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute. Just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air", says the little dude, "My window was open, despite the fact i have no windows in my house because my house is made of paperboard, and then somebody called to my phone, but i only heared heavy breathing, but then, WHO WAS PHONE? I had the feeling that somebody was watching me... And in fact, somebody was doing that, it was EVIL PATRIXXX, and then, i went to bed." The kid actually was not a survivor of the stupid asshole attacks, so the police said to him: "SHUT THE FUCK UP, DUDE! WHEN DID THE ASSHOLE ATTACKED YOU??!" He said: "What asshole? I live in a paperboard box, i don't know what you are talking about." Then he leaved. The dude was just wasting time. The police is doing everything to find the stupid asshole killer. If you see anyone that fits the description in this story, please go away.

STORY
Geoffrey has moved to a new neighbourhood with his sheeps in October 1, 2007. He is a 13 year old dude with a dark past. When he was 6 years old he ate a piece of broken glass and his life changed totally. When he was 7, he started to go to sleep at 10:00 PM instead of 9:40 PM. He also started to watch the hyper ultra satanic Pokémon show. His parents hated that behaviour, so when he was 10, his parents abandoned him with a bunch of sheeps.

Geoffrey started to meet his neighbours, people said that he looked like a typical guy. On October 10, 2007, he was invited to a party in the house of some guy called Jeff. Geoffrey was going to the house along with his sheeps, then a 5 years old kid with a water gun noticed that Geoffrey existed and said to him: "Wanna play?" Geoffrey said to him: "No", and the kid said: "Okay, bye". But the kid accidentally shooted the water gun and Geoffrey's face was burned with the water becuase it was water from blue hell, blue hell is cold. Geoffrey was screaming: "SAVE ME SHAUN!!" Shaun: *Sheep sound*.

Then, a guy called Jeff showed a knife to Geoffrey and said: "Give me your wallet"

Geoffrey: No.

Jeff: Okay, bye.


 * Jeff leaves*


 * Jeff comes back*

Jeff: Please?

Geoffrey: No.

Jeff: But i need money.

Geoffrey: No.

Jeff: I am gonna kill myself.

Geoffrey: Okay.


 * Jeff kills himself*

Geoffrey came back to his home and said: "This neighbourhood sucks, but that kid was interesting."

And then, Geoffrey came to his bathroom, took a knife and cut his own ears.

And then, he became a STUPID ASSHOLE KILLER. His first victim was a fly. He killed the fly with a insecticide. His second victim was a cockroach. He killed the cockroach with a shoe that was secretly a bladder that was secretly a brain that was secretly a computer that was secretly a TV  that was secretly a dildo that was secretly a piece of crap that was secretly one of the Geoffrey's ears. He was scary.

And then, a skeleton popped out, and then, Geoffrey killed the skeleton, and then, the skeleton killed Geoffrey, and then Geoffrey killed Geoffrey.

Skeleton: Your butterscotch style is strong, Weird Dude, but it is no match for my brownie tits!

Geoffrey: They told me you had head, but your serve is soft. I see you've studied the ancient art of being an asshole! Oh, and you don't have tits.

Skeleton: STFU!

Geoffrey: Ha, ha, ha! You'll wish your ass was a cup when I whip you into something!

Skeleton: You have played with dumbness and asshololohicness. I will honor your broken glass.

And then, the skeleton dissapeared. Geoffrey started to kill more cockroaches and stuff, he got insane. On Frebuary 30, 2012, a pit falled into Geoffrey and Geoffrey falled into a pit, and then EVIL KERMIXXX appeared and ate the pit and the universe turned into a cabbage. Geoffrey was looking for his next victim, which was a girl called Jane. Geoffrey showed a knife made of a skeleton's ass and said to the girl: "Hey, can I kill you?", and the girl said: "Okay...but, who are you?", Geoffrey just said: "Shhh... GO TO SOMEWHERE."

In Noctubrearycemberyay 69, 9999, Geoffrey died because he was not even real. Everything was a mirrage that fooled everybody when they entered into THE WEIRD AS FUCK ZONE from Old Bacon City.

THE END