Joker: The Final Chuckle

Joker: The Final Chuckle.

The following is the last described footage of a Joker movie spinoff, as reported by ex-WB employee Kyle.

We begin with the fucking F.R.I.E.N.D.S theme song, but it's all the different film incarnations of Joker, plus footage of Ernie and Bert committing an armed robbery.

Joaquin's Joker appears halfway through in a shitty Alice Cooper disguise, plays the opening notes of "Welcome to the Black Parade" by fucking MCR on some shitty upright piano, and screams, which annihilated my fucking computer speakers and gave me a fucking bluescreen that said "XXXXXXXXXXX" in dripping bloody yellow letters.

We then see Joker going through the fucking Yellow Pages and leaving creepy phone calls with some shit-ass 99 cent Halloween album playing in the background.

Joker sees a page for "Hire a Clown!" and dials the number, but before he can get a single word out past "Hello", this HORRIFICALLY loud music played as a fucking tank pulled up outside Joker's house and the other movie Jokers get out.

Joker's phone gets a text from the clown company.

'Enjoy.'

Joker screams in 7 different languages as thunder cracks outside.

Suddenly, his door comes FLYING off the hinges into the house, sending dust everywhere.

Joker starts flipping through the pages to find a priest.

"Yeah, I need a fuckin' exorcism-"

Heath Ledger's Joker appears, grabs the phone with RAGE, screams some shitty backwards Latin at the priest, and destroys the phone, which has suddenly become a dial-up.

This destroys the phone and the floor.

Leto Joker whips out a shitty MacBook and tweets the word "white".

He INSTANTLY gets #Cancelled for "Far-Right White Supremacist Rhetoric."

We suddenly cut to Sonic the fucking Hedgehog taking a shit in some disgusting fucking peach bathroom while "Piss on the Kitchen Floor" plays. "Mmm. Gotta. Go. Fast." he says.

Suddenly, Joker (2019) BURSTS into the room, flushes Sonic DOWN the toilet, and fires a fucking bazooka into the hole.

We see Joker (2008) on a plane. He's wearing an old lady disguise. A little boy accidentally taps his shoulder.

Disturbing orchestral music begins to play as Joker turns around.

"You wanna know how I got these scars?" he asks.

That's when he WHIPS out his Slim Jim™ flavored juul and rips, smoking out the boy and causing the plane to swerve out of control and start spraying water everywhere.

He falls, and suddenly the man and woman behind him switch faces.

He screams.

We see Joker (1989) and Joker (2016) playing chess.

"There's one rule." says Joker (2016). "You don't answer the phone."

"The phone?" says Joker (1989). "What fuckin' phon-"

Joker (1989) notices a small black phone on the table.

It rings.

Suddenly, the entire table collapses, followed by the walls, the floor, the heater, the kitchen, the bathtub, the kitchen again, a toilet, another toilet, the neighbor's house, and the entire fucking neighborhood.

Suddenly, the TV switches on and a news reporter with the face of Thomas the fucking Tank Engine appears and proclaims that the entire continent of South America has just sank underwater.

"It's the fuckin' phone! I gotta answer the phone!" screams Joker (1989). Joker (2016) tries to convince Joker that it's all an illusion, but it's too late.

Joker (1989) answers the phone. Suddenly, things go back to normal.

"Hello?" he says.

That's when a familiar shitty Beamer pulls up to the door. It's Ernie and Bert. With Joker (1966).

We cut to Jokers 1966, 1989, and 2016 in a library with Ernie and Bert. The 3 Jokers are wearing monocles and sipping tea while reading and talking in old lady voices.

Suddenly, Joker (2016) burps incredibly loudly.

INTENSE orchestral music plays.

The other two lean forward, and Joker '08 says "What the fuck, Leto?" in a MUCH deeper voice.

Bert starts moving a book on civil rights to the fiction section.

He is kicked out.

Ernie starts laughing hysterically as Bert is forcefully dragged away before dumping a table full of "Hunger Games" Merch into the downstairs café.

Joker (1966) suddenly gets up, takes off, and falls down the escalator as large "SMACK!" POW-bubble style captions are seen.

He falls off the side, the caption "SPLAT" is shown, and he is not seen again.

The other two Jokers DASH over to the animal puppets on display, and start making them SCREECH at an EXTREMELY Loud volume.

EVERYONE in the fucking library is staring at them at this point.

Policemen with guns start charging in and firing fucking everywhere, trying to find the Jokers.

Ernie uses the Space Stone and teleports them away.

We see Joker (2019) watching this on the news.

He vomits black rice all over the fucking place.

He sits down at a piano and begins to play Mozart's Piano Concerto in H Major, K. 69.

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. I had to stop the video to wipe the tears that were streaming down my face.

I did find it strange, however, that the cadenza consisted of ripping every fucking key off the piano one by one.

The camera zooms out and we see Joker (2008) with his face pressed to the door. He's wearing a Mozart-like wig.

Joker (2019) opens the door, to which Joker (2008) suddenly whips out a boombox and starts rapping on the porch to a hip-hop version of Mozart's "Requiem".

He says "I'm a villain that's winning With precision, I'm killing Represent the religion Ended up independent Took my car to the clinic Let 'em check all the vitals Middle finger to rivals Michael Jackson, my idol Still ducked in a pie hole Talk to the plug, every day except Cinco de Mayo I still got me a Carlo Still got money, Carlo Your car running so bad, it stink up the Apollo-"

Joker (2019) shoots him point blank.

That's when everything turns animated, the sky turns red, and we see Joker (1992) and LEGO Joker (2017). Joker (2019) appears in animated form as well.

LEGO Joker says

"I'm a villain that's winning With precision, I'm killing Represent the religion Ended up independent Took my car to the clinic Let 'em check all the vitals Middle finger to rivals Michael Jackson, my idol Still ducked in a pie hole Talk to the plug, every day except Cinco de Mayo I still got me a Carlo Still got money, Carlo Your car running so bad, it stink up the-"

Joker (1992) SLAMS his hands down on a dumpster.

Suddenly, he starts making a beat and says

"Talk to the plug, every day except Cinco de Mayo I still got me a Carlo Still got money, Carlo Your car running so bad, it stink u-"

A batarang appears out of nowhere.

It releases a deadly gas.

We see Batman from Batman: The Animated Series, as well as the Batmen from every other Batman cartoon. "You thought you were the only one who discovered the Multiverse, Joker?" Batman says.

Joker (2019) sighs.

With the ultimate fists of justice, Batman punches him into space and everything turns back into live action.

Joker (1989) appears with a chainsaw and a Phantom of the Opera mask in front of a black background.

He opens his mouth and blood starts pouring out.

The fucking duck puppet from Baby Einstein™ appears.

He says

"I'm a villain that's winning With precision, I'm killing Represent the religion Ended up independent Took my car to the clinic Let 'em check all the vitals Middle fing-"

Joker (1989) YANKS the puppet off the dude's hand, to which the man controlling the puppet LEAPS up like fucking Cicada from The Flash™ and ANNIHILATES Joker (1989).

We see some old guy mowing his lawn.

He falls off his mower and yells.

The footage then cut to INCREDIBLY low quality clips of what appeared to be some Harry Potter movie, before settling on a video of an orange cat shitting and running as Hermoine yells "Bloody Hell, Crookshanks!"

Joker (2016) appears in the video with a plastic wand that isn't even from Harry Potter and yells "CRUCIO!", causing a bright red burst to engulf the screen.

The Mean Genie from Fraggle Rock™ appears with a walker, tries to go down some stairs, and TUMBLES down them to that stupid fucking "It's Goin' Down for Real" song.

We see some 40 year old guy in a Babies R Us trying to make a Leapfrog™ toy say "fuck" before some PORN PARODY LOOKING ASS JOKER appears and smacks the toy on the ground before yelling the word himself.

All the little kids in the store start repeating it to their parents.

We see Joker (2019) floating in space.

David Bowie's "Space Oddity" plays, but the lyrics are changed.

"Clown Control to Major Joke"

"Clown Control to Major Joke"

"Take your happy pills and put your clown nose on"

"Clown Control to Major Joke"

"Commencing Countdown, Clown Wigs On"

"Check ignition, and may God's Laugh be with you"

* drum solo*

"This is Clown Control to Major J, you've really made em laugh"

"And the papers want to know whose wigs you wear, now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare"

The song then continues from that point with the normal lyrics as Joker fades away into space.

Ernie and Bert break into NASA to try and locate Joker, but it's too late.

We see the other Jokers and Batman fade into ash.

"Planet Earth is blue, and there's nothing I can do."

-The End. Remember to always smile and put on a happy face.